Rants, Craps, and Blehs

2012-03-03T22:27:00.005+08:00

There is a difference between Letting the person go.. and confronting the problem.. Today.. it was a run... escaping and DEFINITELY NOT Confronting the problem at all

I saw the prompt.. i saw ur hesitation .. i'm not blind.. i'm not stupid either .. I walk away in an obvious avoidance manner..hoping that u would open ur big yap that u always crap shit ard with.. nope.. silent.. Its alright for me to type it here.. since u dun read my blog .. but lucky for u .. i'm sure ur frens, as well as my own.. do read my blog and u will soon be informed of this just like how u informed them of other things..

Yes.. i am and was angry the entire way from then on.. i so wanted to leave immediately after possibly giving u a huge punch.. But wad to do... u were never to be trusted.. u always said that wad u said is not clear... not obvious.. sorry.. it is to me.. i read things very deeply and based off of wad u said.. its as clear as day...

And to my other friend.. despite not showing any harsh attitude to u...doesn't change what happened...it was not a simple discussion nor a mere comment here and there... its prying..shoulden't u respect my decision whether or not i say anything and like "tame" ur desire for the answer? There are so many factors that both of u are oblivious of that are very profound to me... factors that I constantly look into and considered which led to my decision of keeping things quiet...

U both have to learn to look at the bigger picture and not zoom straight into one thing.. Did any of u even considered how i would feel if it was opening discussed just like that? Doubt so... Did the big mouth consider how the curious one would feel based on what he said and how he structured his sentence? Doubt so... Think

Am i so difficult to read? Do i have to give u like.. signs? Don't any of u notice how my face changes each time frustration is seen when the topic u both discussed is opening joked about? Screw this.. i cant just type shit out here where my blog is so open =.=...watever

Its not about time.. its about the effort.. one right move at the right time is all it takes .. no hesitation just one two three go ... that's all...I ignore u to let u know i'm angry and i want u to know WHY i'm angry with u... the only reason this isnt a full scale fck fest is cause everything is finished.. done.. i'm sure u can catch wad i mean..

And.. respect. Respect for both my privacy and my decisions... u have ur aim and all but if it does not match with mine.. u should have stop...knowing that u are not joking abt it and answering with respect is not the same as respecting how i want things to be.. in short.. u respected my words(which i know from the start that u will) but u didnt respect my decisions..Its been so hard for me to keep things quiet and to put on a straight face and having it all go to waste the moment u were asked... no face watsoever.. ask and blurt out.. wtf? A NO would be awesome fyi

2012-02-29T03:03:00.002+08:00

FREEDOM! .. done with all papers and stuff and i'm now free as can be for 2 months :D

Kinda scared tho...am planning a few stuff that i've never done before and knowing me.. i'm kinda afraid to even go for it.. I get embarassed super easily and all.. but o well.. their well on their way.. cant turn back now .. just hopes it's smooth sailing rather than that of smth that i'd end up feeling regretful for :X

Either way... BOOYA ITS HOLIDAY :D

2012-02-26T20:28:00.004+08:00

Ok i'm gonna be extremely assholish right now but... NERDGASM!

Gosh.. finally.. had to say it so badly... Okok.. i get that it is none of my business that people wants to do well for their studies... and that they are just trying their hardest and all that... I mean.. i too want to do well cept i dun really do that much at all ... which i why usually when there is a discussion going on i'd always say the same lines.. i haven study so i might not know...which is true..

So anyway.. my course has like occasional moments where a subject creates a group for students to discuss stuff.. and it urks me SOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH... when they make that place soooo friendly ... like.. dude.. its for u to ask questions and to check abt stuff.. dun make it sound like some fun place to chit chat.. u think ur cool doing that? heck no son =.=.. Its annoying to me that u ans EVERY SINGLE COMMENT.. like really dude? IT HAS NO CONCERN WITH U.. FINE U HAVE THE ANS!? COMMENT THAT ANS DUN TYPE IN LOL!... LOL ISNT A FREAKING ANS.. gosh =.=... the amount of stupidity and dumbness ... makes me feel so disgusted with myself to have to associate myself to the likes of u...

Its like..i dun really like to be so harsh when i'm judging ppl.. i mean i do do it but... i try to hold back ... but when u give me those irritatable attitude along with how u look.. i'm sorry.. i'm gonna shoot off about ur attitude ALONG with ur looks.. now personally i love and WANT ppl to be confident of their body and who they are.. but with disgusting attitude ... i see u as disgusting.. to the extend of like.. those bitches in high schools.. yeah.. i'm that bitch.. i hate those bitches fyi... but u make me into one of them cus of those subtle irritatable crappy crap u do .. yucks

I dun expect ppl to have the same studying technique as me.. u know.. the whole 1 day before rush thru and PRAY technique.. but like...isnt there a way to privately ask the teacher for more? I know the whole idea when is that.. when u see other students working hard.. u will be like.. pressured to work harder too.. sorry hun.. not for me.. it disgust me.. like.. OK i'm a MEGA BITCH here.. but... i'll go.. srsly? i'm trying to compete with u? wtf is this? and i'm not saying that i'm better than them but rather.. wad is this crap where u guys are working so hard...gosh.. i dunno.. i'm just being mega bitchy right now..

Just ask teacher for more, PRIVATELY... i dun like the whole announcing it to the whole class that u are some smart ass working so hard for something I can do in 1 day... it throws me off.. u may think it will make others work as hard as u but not for me... freaking annoying to me..yeah i'm a bitch .. dun see the point in all of this.. dun even know wad i wanna do after NS ... crabsticks

2012-02-20T23:09:00.002+08:00

Just logged in to read friend's blog...but no update yet.. so....LALALAL SHALL TYPE STUFFF..

WAD STUFF I ALSO DUNNNNOOOOOOOO...nvm shall stick to my tradition of adding in songs :D But aiyo.. lately no new ones.. and i nt sure which i added into my blog and which ones i didnt :(...either way

Four songs in 1 GO! :D ...hehe last 2 days sick :(... SUDDENLY SIA! WAD DID I DO!? no sign at all.. SUDDENLY BOOM! SICK!? WTF?! Fever sorethroat and runnynose.. and shitty ass cough... but today left cough :D so.. ok la

tmr is my interview so nervous... but..main thing is.. i need wear formal... WITH NO BLAZER .. zz i dun like without blazer.. i look so yucky cus i dun have a proper formal white shirt.. sian...........gonna look so shitty la

Ok think i'm done .. i guess....

2012-02-18T18:18:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I wonder why I am so hesitant. I mean...its pretty much known after all but why the hesitation?

Fear? Regret? Aiya so mafan to think so much.. best to be simple-minded and shoot. So much more easier.. think think think end up degrading myself.. pst heck that LOL.. although my friends are clearly joking with me... I always let their words get to me anyway... Louis nub.. Louis stupid.. Louis use your brain.. all because of a tiny weeny mistakes.. they say its the art of trolling.. i find it stupid to be honest .. yeah i get that i cant do it.. i cant "troll" people.. but .. even if i could.. i definitely wont use it on my own friends.. but bleh.. they wont even bother if i "troll" them.. they'll just brush it off.. but sorry darlings.. i cant and i wont..

I guess this is one of those things that ultimately ends up making me hesitant.. me being like this.. overly sensitive... BLEH! .. Dun wan think :D 1 more meeting and 1 more paper and FREEDOM FOR ME!

2012-02-13T03:24:00.003+08:00

So apparently I was singing just now and my mom came in without knocking..

Want to buy sound proof room pl0x =.=.. i dun wan any1 hear me sing let alone get so close to my room and manage to hear a slight hint of it...I can safely say that the reason why I cant put a cover up or anything is cause i dun have privacy at all.. my room is so close to the kitchen and my room is the nearest to the living room which my family is always at. FURTHERMORE.. i can NEVER have the whole house to myself .. even if i do its for sucha short period of time and its definately not enuf..

So irritating ... and i bet ur thinking.. why cant let them hear.. they ur family wad...

My ideology is different .. my idea is that.. my family and frens are people i will know for a long time.. and having them witness any fails of mine will result in them remembering them and ultimately.. me remembering them as well.. heck even know i'm remember so much of my fails through myself.. i definately dun wan to look at their face and rmb my other fails...

Nt to mention, my family are those type of ppl that just talks abt it openly... in short.. no =.=..

Gosh so irritated right now.. and worst still she just says " Tmr no school ar still dun sleep " ... my voice like noise ar? ... thats the problem of reading into things too much.. i know she is just saying like.. GO SLEEP LA ITS LATE.. but for me.. its more of.. stop making noise rather than that of MUSIC.. see the diff? so now all i can think of is that my voice is noise an like.. shitty as crap that isnt music at all even though I ALREADY KNOW.. she didnt mean it..

Which brings up the whole why i think so far =.=... BLEH... just recently my sister said she sees things further than me.. cus i saw this wedding pic of my cousin and her to-be-husband... they stand in train at playground then tilt to girl side.. so i said "see wads wrong with this pic? saying girl fat" ... then she said.. "u think too much.." then i say.. its a joke haha.. she then said "tilt to her side meaning she more impt" then bla bla i think further than u... hoho.. 1stly.. thats is like.. femenism and like favourism or watever.. she ur cousin.. she girl.. so more impt.. bull crap.. 2ndly.. HOW I WISH.. she can ALWAYS think like that... but no.. she had to think for a moment AFTER i made the joke to come up with something...

All and all.. i wan a sound proof room.. but of course even if sucha thing was for sale i wont buy it ... waste money =.=... i'll just shut my mouth and wait and record all those soft singing shit that are so bloody awful.. cus face it.. there are times when u gotta go loud to reach certain ... uhh.. tones? and just going high pitch aint gonna cut it.. mix with my semi-broken-and-never-gonna-break-any-more voice? hell yo.. HELL .. so far manage record a few stuff .. random full and LOUD stuff which I stored on my com.. happy with them but still...shaky cus well... its like.. 4am ... ppl sleeping.. too loud = they wake up and worst.. THEY CAN HEAR =.=.. no full songs yet.. always got a few mistakes here and there which is soooo ARGH... i nid sound proof room..

oh yeah.. extra info.. my dad comes home at 3ish from work and stays home.. yeah.. privacy before 3pm... dad and sis leave at 10am... so left 11 12 1 2.. 4 hours... oh wait.. younger sis home ard 2? 3 hrs left.. maid and mum... when they leave i dunno.. PLUS I GOT SCHOOL... AND I DUN LIKE SING SO EARLY ... GOD ..=.=... irritated as of now..

2012-02-11T18:24:00.002+08:00

Haha i've decided to make a new facebook that i will add random stuff only my closer of frens can see.. i just.. dun wan others to see some stuff that will make them judge me..

Gonna let those who respect me as who I am and respect what I enjoy to do :D

Anyway its called vate pri louis.. wanted to make Louis private account but fb is being a bitch.. so... pri vate louis.. BUT.. somehow i got vate pri and now i cant change =.=. o well

2012-02-06T01:19:00.002+08:00

Argh crappy sticks.. sick :( NOOOOOOOOOO

Checked my exam timetable and apparently my ONE and ONLY exam is on 28/2.. hmm.. why is that so.. oh... darn .... that sucks D: ...sad face... nvm AFTER ALL EXAMS !!!

what else...i dunno.. cant really think.. shall just random say stuff :D

Cats be the scary.. they haz claws that can dig out people eyeball.. but why isit that there is this thing called "Don't be sucha pussycat ( wuss ) ".. apparently.. these scary claw-ie animals are "scaredycats"? Talk about mindblown here..But why isit that more people go like "Dont be sucha pussy" instead of "OMG CAREFUL THE CAT CAN SCRATCH U"

Here is Louis' lame "I-Know-You-Know-Already-But-I-Will-Still-Tell-You" Theory. They laze around and run away when something happens, say a dog chases them, or someone throws a shoe and when they reach a safe distance they maybe hizz or watever u call it, at you like a "coward" ... Aiyo.. so hard think.. i dun wan write until so nice.. shall stick to my normal ........ and type while i go kinda stuff

Anyway .. heres the think.. why the heck would u want to fight a dumb battle.. its not about the whole win or lose thing cus tbh.. a cat CAN win a dog.. but thats not the point.. no reward... no goals.. no nothing.. fight for what.. can walk away then walk away lo.. simple as that...

But then here comes the lame twist which i wanna put in for fun... if u harm the kitty cats family frens or belief or watever the shit he holds dear.. that puny innocent kitty cat will fight u.. darn right he will.. and be prepared for pain.. he might lose but he will do all he can..

So yeah... just cause some dude walks away from u all the time doesnt mean he is afraid of you.. he just doesnt see the point in fighting a worthless battle.. of course if you have a heap of ppl with u against one guy.. cant say anything right? But heck to the yeah.. if you do any shit that will cause him to lose something or watever bull crap... you're gonna pay :D .. The worst pain can be caused by the least expected of people...

Just something random.. was thinking of cats then somehow progressed.. why i think of cat? Cus the moment i typed random stuff... first thing i typed was cat.. for god knows what reasons..DUN JUDGE ME XD...

Narrow as can be

He'll make me see

How all of this should really be

Not on the D

nor on A

W and S will be the way

HAHAHA i be the furrrrrniiieee .. lollol :X k bye :D

2012-02-05T22:47:00.001+08:00

Too awesome not to post

2012-02-04T23:28:00.003+08:00

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you'll never know what you'll get" *insert typical cowboy-ish Australian accent here*

However, what they failed to mention is that of the shapes and sizes they come in. These boxes come in such a variety, from hearts to squares, circles to triangles, all of which hold a different meaning altogether. Not to mention, in each of these different boxes, there a different shaped and sized chocolates too.

Now, lets be honest, who doesn't like chocolates. Well thankfully yall, these chocolates are fat free, protein free etc etc. In short, they are awesome tasting treats minus all the negative crap. YOU WANT IT.

But this is where everyone's so called "life" comes in. Its just like in school, or when training dogs or whatever, get something right, you get a treat. Get it wrong, treat is gone.

And naturally, we wanna get it right. So occasionally, the time comes when you get the question, or rather, problem, you dunno when you're gonna get it or what it is but when u do, you gotta get it right to have your treat.

But thing is, the duration of this period isn't forever, just like in class, the teacher won't wait for your answer for the whole day, let alone forever. You gotta think fast and shoot that's it. Correct? Hurray! Wrong...

Wrong... when you're wrong. Oh how it sucks doesn't it. That treat vanishes from the box. You can't have it no more. Sucks big time. And then you'll spend the rest of, however long you want it to be, thinking of how you could get it right. Frustrating ain't it? How after getting it wrong do you feel like you know how to tackle the question?

But its all goody goody, I mean, you're just losing the chocolates you could have gained, just like how you tripped and magically dropped that one and only piece. Its alright! But, not all boxes are meant for you. In your vast loads of boxes, there are those few that are meant to be offered to others, boxes that you give to others if they get your question right. I mean comeon, you can't be answering all the time right?

So you ask people question, they get it right, HAZZAH! You give them the whole box which they can eat from when they answer following questions posed from you. But what if they get it wrong? Well.. the same thing yo.. they lose your treat to them but here's the difference from the above, they are losing one of yours to them. It may have chocolates that are of the same taste , same brand and same shape as what they may already have, but its a whole different meaning. They lose a whole box, from you, a gift.

Of course, it doesn't mean that you de-friend them of anything. Its just that, they lose the opportunity to be rewarded from questions that would have been posed after that first one...

And with that, I shall end here.

2012-02-02T19:37:00.000+08:00

Totally loving this song..

2012-01-24T16:16:00.001+08:00

Just came back from CNY meeting blah blah with cousins and I must say... out of the many many many cousins.. i only talked to.. 2 :X.. which is like.. the two which i always go to anyway .. anti-social boy ar u louis XD

Well.. actually i dunno why i'm posting cus.. i kinda got nth to post about ? But dunno.. spacing two times .. hopefully better since VERON dun like my paragraphing

Ok... shall like..go? i dunno wad to type at all :D

2012-01-18T21:50:00.003+08:00

Got to complete work by tmr again...argh..

Headache 2nd day in a row... i hope there aint a third.. hmm wad else.. i dunno.. just decided to post smth so as to train myself to not procrastinate.. wait... aint i doing that with work by posting...hmm....LOUIS LOGIC! haha..

Ok i'm mad.. still no cover by louis :(... still dun dare or rather.......... waiting for home alone moment :D wait.. that sounds wrong...hmm... OK aweeeekkkkwaaaaarrddd....

Gotta go do work... (procrastinate)

2012-01-18T02:06:00.004+08:00

Tired...sleepy...

Argh..too many days in a row sleep 3 - 4 hours... Then this block nose for like 2 weeks not making things easy for me.. I wan sing and do work also cannot.. sound like drunk walrus trying to breathe..

Now doing 3DVA... some art modelling animation bleh ... easy subject.. but very time consuming.. the teacher demand for so much...keep on giving us the "improve on this and that" .. Its good la.. but can be irritating.. So difficult to get the OK to post from him...then somemore the post is like dunno how many pages long..

I wan to sing ~

Totally cant focus now.. all i can think of is sleep sleep sleep.. totally wasting my time .. I woke up at 12am to do work and here i am... 2am... still not progressing.. can sleep more de lo :X...

2012-01-11T16:51:00.002+08:00

Having another blogging type of subject.. :(

So since i've already logged in i tot i would just post something haha :D

so yeah here i am guyssss miss me? guess not .. annnndd i dunno wad to post le.. little update?

uhh.. i'm dyeing my hair on friday.. friday the 13th.. of all days right? XD.. dunno wad colour yet tho but the hair style is gonna change apparently, my sis wants me to try shaving both sides instead of my usual 1 side so i guess i will try that :X

uhh.. i'm gonna do something drastic soon :X i dunno whether i can do it or not but.. yeah i might.. i hope i can .. i should :X

Playing a game called atlantica online now.. its fun :D .. at least for me.. cus my guild is so fun to talk to .. but the timing is zzzz.. almost all of them are like 13 - 12 hrs earlier/later than singapore time ..

uhh wad else wad else.. oh ya yj and me are like meeting at my place once a week to train .. guess thats a good thing.. but.. hmm.. once a week.. can handle our work anot.. dunno also.. hope he can he now j2

i guess thats all for random stuff :X

BYE gotta post on my other blog for my A!! ... bullshit.. its art.. I CANT DRAW! HOW TO A!!!?!??!?!?

2011-12-08T22:46:00.002+08:00

I wish there is a reset button... so that i can smash it and go back to the time where i chose this course.. why did i even take it.. i hate programming..just cus the word games was inside? no.. it was cus i didnt want anything..

trying so hard to get A's and as minimal B's as possible for this stupid course which i have absolutely no interest in.. i like playing games but not making them.. i see all these ppl coding like mad man...i keep telling myself.. just for the gpa louis.. gpa.. go uni and take another course.. a course that is based off of analyzing and stuff like that.. but the more i program.. the more i fail.. the more i get frustrated..its just 1 1/2 more years..i want to maintain or improve my gpa so badly .. i nid at least a 3.5 and this course isnt making it easy for me..codes after codes..and now they throw me into a class alone with only 1 person i know... but that isnt a good thing.. cus the one person i know cant help me now.. i need help in programming and he cant provide me with this help..

tmr submission.. and usually i would be rushing thru my work .. with at least some idea of was i wan to finish.. but now.. i'm lost.. i have no clue of how to do my work at all.. i'm gonna fail this .. have my gpa destroyed big time.. cus lets face it.. one D or C really explodes that gpa of urs..i'm not even kidding abt this lol..

i've done the math.. i need at least 35/50 for this to get at least a B for this subject.. as of now.. i'm at the C point.. how..ARGH i hate this course so much..shall go be a pole dancer when i grow up =.=

2011-12-06T18:47:00.003+08:00

Really funny vid and somewhat true...which is just plain sad..

So exactly how does a relationship work out? I wonder...Girls would argue abt this vid.. guys will support it..haiz..

haiya.. dunno la dun wan think so much.. lazy and tired.. U tell me bah..i get that the girl wants the guy to constantly love her and only her.. but till such an extent...and no.. its not "Show only" .. its quite true..maybe only for some ppl.. i wouldent know.. after all.. i'm a teen only.. meaning all the "love" stuff now is the lowest lvl type lol.. so yeah how i know?

The guy dun cheat dun do the bad bad stuff.. but yet got problem?...so...how ar?..

Weird lai de.. i go be gay le

2011-12-02T01:25:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i really have to wonder.. are we, males, really assholes?

Or does this apply to those who get into a relationship?

If you are actually not an asshole to begin with.. isit the stress, effort and watever bullcrap that make u into one? Cus thats honestly the only reason why this term "boredom" appears in a relationship.. I guess its very simple for me to talk abt this.. seeing that i haven't been in a relationship before..

Eventhough i'm like this crazy guy that has this "girls are better than guys" mentality.. i can say that.. yeah its hard handling them.. their alien language.. their PMS..but.. gosh..

Dont get into a relationship until u are certain ...can u like.. know the girl properly like included her PMS days or smth? dun wan u zhao cus she has attitude problem..

And boredom.. really? well yeah.. we do get bored of games .. we cant play them forever.. but thing is.. girls aint games :X.. srsly nid to get this mindset off ur freaking brains bleh..

But who am i to say.. i have never been in a relationship... i wonder.. if i did get into one.. wad would happen.. i'm confident in the first few months.. bring her home la..treat her some food but of course not all if not she make use of me.. then like.. treat her nice all that stuff..its standard stuff.. easy.. but later.. would i get "bored" too? would i turn into an Ahole? meow~ ..

Well..i guess thats why relationships need two ppl.. guys can do only so much..i guess the girls have to somehow have to remind the guys why they love them to begin with or smth like that.. and guys likewise.. more or less la.. i dunno how say haha..

Hmm..usually shud be.. love u for u right? so i guess.. dont change you .. and its safer? i mean.. sometimes in relationship the person change a little.. and that causes the lost in the spark.. right? i dunno.. i'm sleepy and high hahahahahhaha

2011-11-28T00:54:00.004+08:00

I can see why i'm not favourable..

i'm a realist that's all.. i spoil the fun and jokes when something I consider serious arises.. thats all there is to it..cus of this.. i guess seeking advice from me is a nono.. i take things too seriously as if it were my problem.. it sucks doesnt it? when i shoot whoever with my opinions.. i wont hold back you know? If you are wrong.. i'll say it.. if he she it watever is wrong..i'll say it..

But of course.. a "fun" ans is better.. so dun ask me.. i'm the serious one.. the one that will make u feel like a betch with watever opinions of the matter i have..not the one that makes u feel like.. oh wow.. its nth.. phew.. its ok.. safe and relaxed and can take ur own sweet time in handling the matter..

and fyi.. i aint serious abt everything.. i can joke and have fun and i enjoy doing these things.. so dun fcking reply me with such harsh shit while giving hohohehe ans to others just cus they are the "jokish" type =.= i cant tolerate fckary

2011-11-25T20:06:00.002+08:00

Annoyed..I'm taking for the blame for smth i wanna rant about..

Too slow...Too shallow minded..i really cant help feel irritated by the range of ur mind.. sarcasm..indirect .. u cant catch them.. its really a chore to communicate with u cus i have to dumb down things just so u can gasp the top most concept of the thousand layers of shit i wan to tell u..

There are so many things i wish to scream out for you to hear so u can improve urself.. but i doubt u can do it..denying stuff...interupting ppl.. etc etc..

Its gonna be painful..both for you and for me.. but i highly doubt you would feel anything..cus even despite this.. i've got your back.. but you dont have mine..you aggravate watever is there.. at my back.. i have to handle more.. support you more.. defend assist.. so much more..

really frustrated

2011-11-13T01:49:00.003+08:00

EEEPS SO LONG NO POST! ok gonna post 2 songs first.. love them

ok actually got more from megan and liz but.. nvm lalal

Anyway hor i just realise wads my issue with singing...when singing with the song itself.. i dun dare to sing out loud cus i feel like i will be compared to the singers themselves and OBVIOUSLY I cant win them cus.. well.. they are the original plus.. obviously aint that good at singing but hahah ya like that lo.. they compare.. i compare then paiseh then sad then cry :(

LOLLOL and i dun sing karaoke cus like.. later melody wrong how!? then not nice.. then i try do some high part then nth cover up then ARGHHAHAHDADOHEH lollol i think i m mad :X...

then then.. oh ya.. best is sing without music.. safest.. and i like that the most haha.. cus i prefer singing slower and.. yeah like that :X .. yes i m mad.. my hand itchy .. i spamming buttons now oo cpounaonuonuoauncpoaupoin lolllolloll

ok i think i better got sleep.. i nv go tennis for 6 weeks in a row.. not good.. rain rain rain .. then oversleep.. then cruise and all that .. arghh i wan go tennis.. but at the same time .. why so early! argh.. rageeeee ok bye

There when needed and let~~

2011-10-20T22:16:00.003+08:00

A pointless selfish post like every other..Just random phrases that sum up shit

Why are u so useless.. why cant u take the time to sense shit happening for others and assist them thru that gut feeling.. is it so hard to feel the change in atmosphere? is it so difficult to not see the obvious hints i've made.. no wait.. u did ask..but after just 1 turn down by me .. u stopped.. why must u give up so fast.. freaking useless..i wasted so much time and effort cracking my head open for vocabulary words to work ard retarded boundaries so as to help and there u are..giving up over 1 simple turn down..really?

We're all the same.. selfish.. avoiding problems with the best of our abilities even if it means leaving leaving the other slapped with the aftermath of your avoidance..its k.. i wont feel anything since i will be busy soon or since i wont be seeing u soon so i shall just go BANG and run.. save feeling shit until i see u next time...sorry hor.. i dun wan to feel ur shit while u have holiday..we're really all the same..selfish..

Confidence..why u no here? I know got limit but why i dun see it? irritated.. broken recorders aint cool ya know.. why the reasoning afterall? Its not for show right? From C to A and H to F the letters are really getting stronger here..I dun want to feel superior towards any1 .. i'm not.. i'm a fcking normal human shit like every1 else that is selfish like every1 else.. that is irritating like every1 else.. that is proud like every1 else.. but the fact that i go out of my way to overcome that to handle shit from humans like me.. makes me feel superior.. why u make me feel like a better being? Why u wan me feel like i'm a being far beyond that of any matter u'd ever be..I'm not

Don't make me waste my time on your worthlessness

2011-10-20T16:42:00.002+08:00

Going cruise tomorrow..not really excited but o well..

Anyway am loving this song..i dun think i was bullied like.. FULL ON BULLIED in my life before.. sure i had the whole "gay" "sissy" shiet but i'm over that.. i cant even remember how i felt during those days.. was i sad? Was i angry? Was i suicidal? I dun remember..

I guess i've more important things to handle and look into that those things just seem so trivial to me now.. it just goes to show that wad u think was a huge problem is indeed nth but a miserable pebble in ur shoe in reality..

But of course.. i will admit it did affect me and in a way change my attitude towards things..thinking abt it the immaturity of the guys who called me that made me dislike hanging out with males for a really really long time which led to communicating with girls only leading to blah and blah .. kinda awesome eh? My favorite attribute about myself is obtained thru those assholes.

Yeah i guess thats all :D just felt like posting...

2011-10-19T19:50:00.004+08:00

Was watching an anime called Black Rock Shooter and i noticed something..

Ultimately, the best number of frens to have is just one..

Odd numbers are simply the worst..cause honestly, not every1 has the ability to handle groups..unknowingly and eventually without a doubt, one person will get left out..and sure we cant really blame the other 2 or 4 depending on how many .. cause its natural to have certain topics that he or she can talk to with just that other single person..i may be wrong in making these statements but its just my personally opinion and observation..

We'll tend to prefer a certain member of the group to others depending on a particular aspect..and if we have various groups of frens.. this also applies to that..but for now lets stick to just one group of 3 frens..

Haha its kinda obvious why i'm typing this post actually :P In the early stages..it was just two...easy and fun..just random talks and games..it was fun back then..really it was :D and then it turned into three.. things were still fun.. we just knew each other thru the introduction of that in-between nth much.. same old same old .. we were loved equally the same but prefered only slightly over the other depending on certain attributes..the three now didnt consist of an inbetween.. just 3.. then there was 2 and 2 ..a fight.. and the fighters shared that fren who was neutral.. and then 3 again with the same strength as before which was good.. then there was 2 and 2 again.. this time.. i was a fighter..i shared the neutral fren.. and finally.. now.. its 3 again.. but this time not with the same strength.. and i realise.. a strong preference has been made..we were not equal anymore..if there was a grade.. i was just a grade 2 while the other was grade 1..

It might be jealousy or watever but soon i realise that it was not the case.. rather it was fear.. being "grade 2" .. i was at the edge of a danger zone and at any moment cast into its depths..why i was downgraded? i didnt know.. did i change? Did you change..i really didnt know..i tried to change that.. i tried to include myself forcefully but maintain secrecy as to not seem too desperate..but it was no use..the difference in liking was too obvious but without a doubt.. they were unaware.. i didnt blame them.. it was to be expected.. if i had to judge..i'd know who are more superior compared to others considering attributes and towards which person and for this matter.. i was the inferior being.. i could not come close to that of the grade 1.. not because of him being an overall better person but rather the in-between's preference being more towards the attributes of him..

But it was still ok..i was still holding onto that lifeline or watever that prevented me from falling into that danger zone..still on the edge .. safe :D but of course.. i wouldent be posting this if i didnt fall now will i.. so yes .. i fell in today but i still cant tell them all this...to most.. the reasoning to why i fell in is a childish one.. which i agree is true.. but the reason to why this reason came about.. proved this preference between frens..

Just because you consider someone NOT a hi-bye fren
Doesn't mean you don't treat them like one~

--------------------------------------------------

I love animes where the frens are so caring for one another in real life.. helping them do chores and laughing while its done...helping them fight off foes all that shit... why cant it happen here .. it would be awesome really and the thing that would be MOST MOST awesome.. is when they cry with each other..even as i guy.. i like this aspect.. i really do..but its k.. i'm not gonna expect much..

2011-10-18T00:58:00.003+08:00

Have been in an anime craze lately..non-stop anime..didnt really do anything productive with my holiday like the rest of my frens..lazy to plan.. lazy to go out..turning into a nerd soon hahas

O well..just a few more days before school starts again..thursday got meeting in school.. i guess the positioning will be shown again..kinda excited for it :D hope that my position goes up but even if never.. nvm.. i've already achieved by desired GPA.. now i just gotta maintain it properly ..

Enuf about gpa.. sucha disgusting topic shall just end here and post a song that i've been loving :D

Love her then and now :D

I've decided to stop~

2011-10-15T03:23:00.003+08:00

Aiyo lately cannot sleep..Always end up sleeping at like 4am or later and no i dun get on my bed at like 4am.. i get on at like.. 1am lol..

Dunno so weird..

Anyway..yesterday was watching anime till like 5 am then suddenly blackout and thru that.. it made me realise just how much i fear the dark.. yes i'm 18 but yet i fear darkness or rather.. wad my mind can conjure up and all that .. so appearently lights went out and i was like.. sitting on my chair and immediatly i jumped onto my bed and hid under my sheets.. and thing is i do know how to like do the fusebox stuff and on it.. just 1 switch after all but it was outside my room and even if it was in my room i doubt i would dare to move..haha i dunno why but i just stayed there.. cowering under my sheets and hoping some1 would notice and save me from my "misery" .. thankfully my maid woke up like 5mins later cus its like her.. waking up time but it made me wonder 2 things

1.. if like my maid didnt wake up..what would i do.. i had to turn in on cus the fridge and all that nid electricity and i guess.. i wont...i'm really that scared of the dark.. my mind always plays tricks on me and give me retarded images and thoughts.. oh yeah and a thing that almost made me scream was when my air-con and my room's the air freshener spray thing crack + spray at the same time..dunno how say .. but anyway it made a huge sound and it scared the shit out of me and i literally held my breath for like damn damn long lol..

anyway moving on.. 2.. i was lucky that i pulled down my bed before hand so i can rush to it.. but.. if i didnt.. wad would i do.. i realise that.. i would actually panic and maybe even scream..its really sissy and gay thinking abt this but haha i really am scared of being in the dark.. oh yeah another random thing.. every time my room is in darkness.. i have to be like.. full covered under my blanket.. i cant have any skin exposed .. it just freaks me out.. like.. yeah i dun wanna type it out cus being the dude that i am.. i fear that my fears will be read and all that shit.. MOVING ON!

Yeah i really am paranoid.. i dun dare to type so much of wad i wanna type cus of certain stuff but its funny thinking abt this cus..i am someone who does like insane amount of thinking to like manage random problems like car banging and like jumping off a building..whether it works i dunno but at least my mind is like.. prepared with ideas to overcome it at least.. anyway.. having think of these things.. i fear sucha "small" thing.. its big to me but.. "small" nonetheless.. haha.. ARGH NVM shall go bathe so late le..

2011-10-05T21:00:00.002+08:00

Heyyy :D

I'm kinda bored right now.. so just gonna randomly crap some stuff here..These past few days i've just been rotting at home watching anime over anime .. nth to do hahas.. nth to rant abt either hahas.. ehh its not that i like to rant abt stuff.. its just that..there are so many rantable things out there XD

tbh sometimes i wonder if i shud rant so much.. dun really know who reads my blog anyway..sure .. thinking before i type helps in preventing unnecessary problems but i dun really know how ppl's mind works now do i? If they think beyond wad i've thought of.. well.. then i'm doomed if they can catch my hidden meanings now wont i :D

Ahaha reading this post again i must be really bored.. have no idea where i'm trying to lead this post to nor the reason to why i started posting this.. just waiting for my video to load and look like its done WEEEEEEEEEE.. shall go watch it now tralalalal

I have reasons for my actions yo~ U dont see me questioning you for every single detail now do you

2011-09-29T18:28:00.003+08:00

Hmm gotta teach my sis later so shall post instead of starting a game that can last for an hr..

Went to kbox today with Zazz, Veron and baoshi.. no letong cus.. she sick :( get well soon pl0x :D

Anyway yeah i realise that i cant sing without the audio on.. u know that can turn the singer's voice on and off right? I need it on.. its kinda a stupid reason but i guess i'm stupid anyway but the moment i hear my voice come out from those speakers.. i get disgusted.. thats not how my voice sounds in my head and its annoying to me.. even when i've accepted it at home, the moment it comes out it just throws me off..and thats for singing normally.. wad abt those high parts.. those low parts where it requires more effort.. its hard and even though i can reach them.. i cant bear to do it..so frustrating..

sang this song just now.. probably the first time i ever sang properly.. audio was on.. i felt safe..so comfortable singing this and guess wad.. this is like the 3rd time i heard it only haha..Could feel I dragged long enuf and all that stuff.. but haha i forgot to record myself .. i wanted to but o well..there were so many songs that i wanted to record but its kinda embarassing to on my phone and record infront of my frens but haha i dun mind telling them here :D .. I only recorded one..Colors of the wind.. They wanted to change the song.. part of me hoped for them to cus.. well i'm not confident of this.. but another part didnt want them to cus i didnt record anything and the kbox time was ending so yeah.. recorded it.. not gonna hear it tho.. at least not now..

I just wanna know wad ppl hear from me..like without any audio devices to aid that.. i pull out my ear and give my fren =.=

Haha the first hour of the kbox thing was fun .. but after that.. it turned into a freaking battle between myself..i realise that my so called two tone crap doesnt exist there.. for some reason i could only do my lowish one .. hmm.. where me high one go? Haiya..nvm i shall record another time and even if its totally assholeish and sound like i'm fishing for compliments.. i'm going to ask my frens to honestly listen and tell me how it is.. cus unless my WHOLE family leaves the house.. i cant sing out loud haha.. so.. Kbox.. i nid u :D

I dun wanna rap.. i wanna sing

2011-09-24T16:01:00.003+08:00

I didnt see the full vid but appearently .. just caught that tiny portion of it.. and i guess i was soft or smth.. maybe i missed the part where i sang loud i dunno i dun care.. i dun wanna look at it at all.. i know i've imprv and thats all that matters to me..

And i realise.. its not that i dun wanna do covers or anything .. its just that i never have the opportunity to do so.. i have..younger sis elder sis dad mom maid.. so many ppl.. and I am NEVER left alone at home..Sunday is like the MOST MOST MOST awesome time cus its family day.. but even i have to folo =.=.. plus my maid doesnt like to leave the house argh..

I'm gonna be selfish and say.. why cant every1 leave the fcking house .. just like get out for 1 or 2 hours so i can do this 1 thing that i've been wanting to do for so long..even if part of me dun wanna know shit..i'll eventually look at comments anyway and yeah.. i'll finally know if i suck or not .. cus face it.. i cant bring myself to believe my frens.. as harsh as that sounds.. we all know that there's this element of "lets try not to hurt his feelings too much" there.. so yeah..and yes.. there are those who are super blunt.. but for some reason i cant bring myself to believe them too..i nid strangers.. random ppl i dunno AT ALL .. so yeah..waiting for the day every1 gets out of the house..

2011-09-23T21:39:00.002+08:00

Argh..that teachers day performance has came back to haunt me.. Suddenly out of nowhere.. the vid freakin pop-ed up and i really cant bear to see myself perform..gosh..

Just like my results.. i cant bear to like.. face the music.. no pun intended nvm...shall remove tag.. remove from profile.. i dun wanna see it..i've improved i'm sure of it.. but do i still suck? i dunno lalala dun wanna know..

:D

2011-09-21T12:51:00.002+08:00

Hmm i feel like remaking my blog.. not as in changing everything like skin and all that.. but rather..hmm..

heres the thing.. my email address used to be sue_myself_19 bla bla ..but because of some shitty issue..that account cant be used anymore and now i go by the email irweasel bla bla..however my blogger still goes by sue_bla.. so yeah shud i? haha but my 300+ post will be lost :( aww...

Dunno see how :D I'll still stick to the same URL even though i totally hate it.. so cheessy and gross but o well it was easy to rmb and i hate telling ppl to change link and all that.. wait.. do we even have links? haha i dunno :X maybe i will change and tell certain ppl :D after all i love the name PeePeePaChuChu.. maybe i'll change it to PeePeePaChuChu-Says-Hi :D lol ok watever i shall go bye :D

2011-09-21T02:40:00.002+08:00

I wanted to post initially.. but i sidetracked and procrastinated and now its like 2:41.. super late.. shall post this and go slp :D

Dunno why but the part, where the doctor girl looking for a seat, felt very .. i dunno.. haha like feel emotional just something random :P

Oh and my fren and I were having a msn like.. uhh..gossip thing and we're talking abt some ppl's character.. how we judge them based on certain things.. he called me kind and nice haha..as of now i'm in a happy chirpy and slightly sleepy mood so i cant really type like.. in THAT way.. cus 1 thing bout me is that my CURRENT mood affects how i post and THAT kind of post is for when i'm really in THAT mood.. but anyway..i'd prefer if he sees me with his heart/brain and not his eyes..cus honestly.. i dun think i'm that nice of a person..humble or not ? i dunno i just dun think so

Either way i gotta go bathe and slp..

2011-09-17T03:15:00.001+08:00

Hmm its late.. i shall got sleep..why did i even log in to type something...

I dunno i felt that i shud stick to the practice of posting everyday.. but wad to post i dunno.. going to meet jen bren and shihui tmr to slack ard.. ages since i met them.. next week got.. HOPEFULLY.. 2 days of kbox.. one with zazz veron lt bs .. another with hweechieh they all.. meow~...

Doubt i'd sing tho.. i love to sing.. but till now .. each time i hear my voice either thru the speaker or thru the recorder.. i cant bear to continue.. its so bad.. so horrible.. even till now i need to know if its ok or not..not strong enuf..i'm so affected by wad ppl say.. even tho i tell my frens and i KNOW that i shuden care.. i cant bring myself to not care.. thats why only yj hears me sing before.. he constantly .. at least last time la.. now nv le :P.. tells me that its ok and that it wasnt bad.. i'm so weird.. reading this it makes me feel like i'm an ass that demands for attention.. that i want ppl to complement me.. but no.. i really dun know.. i feel that i m OK.. but.. i cant accept it.. sometimes i wish that yujing told me that i sucked.. so that i can just stop singing..cus he is just one person.. i've heard ppl say that i suck.. but why does he contradict wad they say.. so confusing..

who toebelieve? I DUNNO RWAR

o well.. shall go sleep..

2011-09-16T04:32:00.002+08:00

Two random things i wanna talk about..

First is my phone..Ok for those who know me.. i'm sure u all know i dislike my phone for a long time..u know..touch screen..BLEH.. really hate it..if my old phone didnt spoil and didnt cost a bomb to fix, i would totally keep it...why? well, for one.. a non-touch-screen phone allows for the following awesome stuff

ACTUAL BUTTONS

This is like the mega awesome lalalalalal nice nice factor abt it... it allows one to feel their way round the phone.. locate buttons in the middle of the night..find these darn buttons early in the morning when u just wake up and cant open ur eyes fully.. type message secretly and most importantly.. TYPE IT FAST..i know some ppl can type message on touch screen fast too but face it.. buttons > touch

And i realise that this really affects how i handle messages..i'll be upfront abt it.. but i'm a gamer and as well all know we gamers message at two specific times.. rest points ( aka when our char dies and we wait for respawns or when got loading time) or when the game ends.. and thing is.. i'd prefer to message back the moment i see it because being the idiot me.. i always end up forgetting that i received a message and end up seeing it only when i go to sleep which is like the only time i look at my phone when no vibration is felt..so yeah..its frustrating to both me and the other person who is waiting for my reply.. and of course i feel guilty.. but each time this happens I just feel like smashing my phone and pray for my holy old phone to come back to life and serve me again..

BLEH.. dun like..

Another random thing is.. well.. mask..

Initially i felt abit *ahem* thinking abt this topic .. but now.. i'm.. ok i guess .. (yucks i hate how my mood affects the way i post...like i feel annoyed at something and REALLY wanna post abt it hor.. the moment i happy.. i wont post )

Anyway.. its like.. what is a mask..and do i have one? I honestly dont know..is mask really something that is there .. like u can tell that some1 is sad but the way he TRIES to act is that of not sad? Is that false front the mask? Cus to me.. a mask is something that conceals the face entirely.. but when the person is sad.. we can still tell that he is sad cause.. well.. as much as he tries.. his face will let off that hint of sadness.. am i being retarded? i dunno just randomness.. anyway.. i tot the mask should conceal it entirely but lets be honest.. he somewhat wants to let ppl know he is sad.. so is that still a mask? Half-a-mask maybe..

Or is the mask something of how ppl act instead of how they really are.. like they are actually rough ppl but act innocent and kind on first encounter to get frens.. just a random example...but yet again.. is that really a mask.. maybe to them it is.. because they feel that they fully captured the role they wanted to play.. but to me it isnt.. for like i said.. i can catch these hints of fakeness.. so still..half-a-mask again? to me? i guess :X

So what exactly is a full mask to me? Hmm..i dun think i can say that any1 else has a full mask to me..as in.. i have no right to deem that for being the guy being shown the mask.. i can see it and often than not it is halved cus i can see thru it.. but rather.. its something 1 can say only to themselves.. i guess at least..they themselves feel that they have successfully played the role and all.. but of course to others.. they can see that its halved..

I honestly have no idea where i'm going with this.. i wanted to post this yesterday when i was lying in bed thinking abt something.. was meant to be kinda emotional i guess.. but now.. i'm like meh so i cant really express wad i mean properly i guess.

Argh i guess its not the best time to write this.. its just weird writing it out when my mood is not at its place.. i shall leave it for another time ..haizzz

All that internal conflict for nothing..

O WELL! NIGHTS

2011-09-14T19:19:00.002+08:00

Initially i wanted to post abt something.. but i'll save that for another day.. instead i wanna talk abt makeup! :D

Happy ? no.. annoyed.. yes.. men and make up.

Dun worry this isnt a rant AGAINST but a rant FOR .. wads wrongs with females wearing makeup.. honestly.. theres nth wrong with it.. so yeah it enhances how they actually look .. and maybe u feel like its cheating ur feelings but wth .. this is why i hate males when i was young and only sticked to female frens.. because their so self-centered .. OMG CHEAT MY FEELING.. OMG SHE ACTUALLY SO UGLY.. OMG THIS OMG THAT.. piss off man.. imagine i walk up to u, grab ur nuts and say omg so small.. omg ur dick is the size of my pinkie .. would u like that?

Ok fine.. i get that u have every right to say these stuff behind their backs.. just like how we can all go .. omg she so pretty.. omg he so handsome.. its same. commenting..

but honestly there's nth wrong..why isit that u darn males cant just think for a second the reasons for them putting on make-up.. honestly man.. even if its for some "lame" reason like FUN with a smile :D .. its still a reason to them and u should respect it..boosting confidence.. feeling prettier and better.. wads wrong with that.. its the same as us male styling our hair to look "cooler"..

Plus the girls put so much effort to feel nice and look nice..maybe not for YOU but for PEOPLE..for HERSELF.. god..wads wrong with that..

U dun like "fake" girls.. fine go be alongside those assholes out that in the world that judges a girl's beauty based on how she looks ..and dump her once she gets "ugly".. pieces of shit =.=

BLEH.. dun like..not saying that there's anything wrong but i just dun like even if its their own preference.. i can stand for "she looks fake" but.. once they continue until omg why do girls use make-up .. why all the girls cannot just dun wear make-up and be real.. followed by a.. OMG SHE LOOKS PRETTY AND SHE HAS NO MAKE-UP.. it annoys me..

OK LALA BYE :D

2011-09-14T13:04:00.001+08:00

I think i'd blog later.. feel like sleeping now RWAR

2011-09-11T20:49:00.002+08:00

Argh.. i'm totally bored hahas..

Wow.. i'm so bored that i cant think of anything to type here..or maybe its cause of my inability to multitask haha.. cus i now listening to song then like.. cant think of things :X

Ok .. hmm..wad to say wad to say.. well.. my post are very .. non-ranty lately so thats a positive..gonna keep this blog as positive as i can :D ZOMG just another random thing but the songs that so happen come on on my playlist are like.. UBER bad timing hahas.. like .. i focus on wad i'm doing for 1 sec than the song the next and i'll realise like.. haha bad timing lo XD

K la .. guess thats it.. i really really nth to type :( Needa get out of the house or i'll be... like..bored hahas

2011-09-10T17:20:00.003+08:00

Went out with brandon and yujing today to expo for some game stuff which was kinda...cool? Who i am kidding.. its not cool.. its 1 word.. NERDGASM!

But it was cool i guess... saw some of those "famous" players which was kinda...uhh..ok i'll be honest i was going.. OMG NERD the whole way.. then there was this 1 dude who yujing said was like me.. as in in terms of standard.. and when i saw him...omg.. i dunno whether he is being nice or degrading me.. LOL nah i'm just kidding.. yeah he is like.. not a nerd looking person? like normal lo :X ( *grumble* but i'm still better :( ) .. OK ANYWAY.. ahem awkward :P

Yeah thats abt it yo.. nth much i gotta update :D

Oh and i love this

2011-09-10T03:40:00.003+08:00

Hmm.. i shall start posting random stuff often.. even if i dun have anything to type out :X .. if not my blog will die hahas

Uhh.. i guess i have one for today..and that is i sing every single day? Is that weird? Like..usually ppl hear song then sing.. mine is i find song to sing :X and just when i am typing in this post..i was found out :(..hahas.. yes i sing EVERYDAY!! LALALA love it..its like a game to me.. i wanna achieve a full mark by hitting every note :X

as of now.. my hardest game is this.. the high pitches are...OMG!! dun worry imma not gonna do them..other ways to score is to find other ways to fill those "mad" parts :D

ok imma lame :( bye

2011-09-07T03:17:00.004+08:00

Hmm...i'm bored..wad to type..No rants.. then nth type haha typical me..

Hmm..i really hope no1 gets the idea that i'm being proud of myself and that i think every1 is a moron and all that stuff.. but thinking back..my posts always make me seem like i think that way..cant really explain wad i mean in detail but yeah :X its just that MOMENT kind of thing.. not in general that those ppl are entirely morons.. lol that sounds weird.. not wad i was aiming for but watever.. trying to post some random stuff..

My phone is dying on me.. no messages haha FA .. ( forever alone ) ..

Hmm.. yup ran out of stuff..lets just post random stuff that u guys might wanna know...uhh.. school holidays now... my family wanna go thailand but i dun.. and appearently when i found out school starts in oct i am happy cause that means i dunnid go :X

Uhh wad else...i finally bought my pull-up bar.. its in my parents room which is kinda weird cause...i dun often go there and its kinda obvious wad imma do when i suddenly go into their room which is a bad thing cus i dun wan them know i use it..i know.. imma mad but like.. i have this weird liking towards surprising ppl.. do i make sense?

Hmm..uhh...sentosa that beach thingy is sucha nice place for a photoshoot..though i kinda hate beaches cus so many show-off-ie dudes with the gym and the weights and the BLAH.. nasty toots make me jealous lol.. bet cha all didnt know this abt me.. i get jealous easily when it comes to this aspect of things :X ..their not show-offs but.. i just call them that as long as they have that .. tooty figure and no shirt on.. ...TOOTS! RWAR rage anger ..:(

Uhh..wad else....oh ya...i have like quite a few face mask at home.. and am wondering if my friends like using them.. just random.. but i dunno lehz.. i dun really see friends using them.. lol its weird.. i know its something that shouldent be like.. worn in front of friends but.. i just .. yeah i wanna know if my frens use them regularly.. cus i use them at least once a week.. be it peel off de.. moisture or toning :X and like the idea of slumber party is awesome to me... but sadly i'm male and families dun really allow males to stay over at a female's house..aww.. always loved the idea of going over and like.. doing make-up,nails and mask and stuff.. of course not on me la.. i like WATCHING girls do make-up and nails and of course helping them do..but on me.. nah.. my face too awesome le HAHAHA

uh.. i guess i'm done.. its like 3:30 now.. and i dun really know wad to do.. shud just go sleep :X

Random..

I dun like to rant.. but something always tells me that i have to tell people what i feel .. like.. i want them to know wad not to do around me cause of my views and stuff..and maybe thru this way they will know more abt me as a person.. my ideals and personailty.. at the same time i dun wan them to know .. hahas.. i'd rather they see me as "caring" if i appear to them that way.. cause i'm aiming to.. anywayyyyyy yeah :X hahas..

random 2..

I feel like singing a song..if i could sing well .. i would totally sing songs to my friends on their birthdays or as a message or watever.. but i cant and i wont..haha if i did.. everyday would be so musical for me.. cus i have so much i wanna say but.. if u know me.. i think ahead..and if i did do that..a series of hurdles and blah will appear and i dun wanna handle those cus..it invites more brain juice consumtion.. haha some of the songs from my ... many..songs i wanna sing to ppl :X

2011-09-06T02:04:00.002+08:00

Ok.. i know i should be posting about today.. but appearently things started to go =.= and i've gotta rant... but before i rant.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAOSHI! Hope u enjoyed ur day today and the prezzies and all that :D

Ok.. now..what i do in my life..actions, ideas watever.. are all my choices.. I dun really give a flying fck abt what you think and say about it.. but when u start dissing my friends because of possible actions that they carried out and i've accepted, meaning.. they did smth that i dun really mind.. I get pissed .. whose friends are these people? Mine or urs.. fcking hell i wished you'll repeat after me and say LOUIS' .. ITS LOUIS' FRIENDS.. NOT MINE.. NOT MINE..

It amazes me at how stupid some people can be.. How they can hate certain people despite them being good and how they can love people who are totally incompetent..Here's one.. I really didnt wanna bring this out but this is getting on my nerves.. my APEL teacher.. or form teacher if u wish.. He is a great teacher.. he really cares for our well being ... sure he is late often and rarely have time to actually carry out the lesson.. but hands down he is a great teacher.. he analyze our attributes and give us constructive advice.. i really dun understand how you guys can go .. HE SUCKS.. to me.. cus face it.. the only reason he sucks to u is cause u're too stupid to understand his message and ur seeing this in a gamer's eyes.. and what i mean by this is that.. you are bored and not entertained and it is wasting ur time.. rather than taking this piece of advice and seeing it in the eyes of a mature adult.. no wait.. scrap that.. even adults are often immature in my eyes.. why else do i rant about some teachers? Teachers who forget that they are teachers.. people who are suppose to motivate and entice their students to listen during class..sometimes i dun really wanna say it but i feel so much more mature around these people.. i'm honestly not.. but being around these kinds of people and seeing them failing to see such "obvious" aspects makes me feel so much smarter and mature.

Bleh.. i kinda sidetracked.. anyway the reason i typed this .. dun worry its not about the bday thing...is because of a freakin game.. NOW before u go all "omg its only a game bla bla " on me...listen up.. its not about THE game.. but rather what happen IN the game..sure we lost.. but honestly i dun give a fuck about it.. i've lost plenty of games and won many of it too.. but rarely will i get so pissed off over what happened.. I dun care if you have a game face when u play and go all hostile on ur friends.. or are the best player in the game or watever of those crap...we are a team..and fuck off if u think a team equals to friends cause its bullshit to me.. YES u CAN have a team of friends but when you are a stranger in my team of friends.. u are just part of the team.. not a friend..

But of course.. this is different.. cause everyone is my friend only.. from different groups... ok..i dunno whether its cause your not a damai-ian or smth but why isit that other people have such U()#$*)$ attitude? .. I'm really curious .. till date i've always felt that all of my grad batch of damai-ians are like intellectual and mature people.. so much Eff shiets going on shall list some.. dudes that ignore other's feelings or rather are unaware..mad dudes that get pissed off at everything.. u know wad.. i dun even wanna list them.. rather.. i'll say.. we all have those aspects.. but why isit that they dun try to like.. handle it.. they like throw out these negative fcks at their "friends" aka me .. and do nothing to like.. make me feel ok abt it or feel better..BLEH i dun even know wad i wanna say now.. its so messed up in my brain..

Ok.. point is..i find them retarded in so many aspects..they may find me retarded as well but to that i say.. fuck off because i'm the one that handles all those emotional issues.. handle conflicts all sensibly and sensitively.. YES SENSITIVELY.. its a fucking aspect that i feel and exert out easily unlike u fucking morons..rage and do nothing.. yes that all u can ever do..everyday i'll get a crack out of the jokes i hear.. rage here rage there.. and do nothing.. good job..this is wad makes me different.. i dun give a flying fuck if the words gay and homos comes shooting me in the face but we're different cause i bother to do something..as much as i rant.. i do what i have to to achieve wad i want..

And now.. raging.. people raging doesnt really anger me at all.. i dun care.. cause honestly..when u rage.. eventhough the contents are ALL heard by me unlike some fuckers who totally dun bother to check if this issue is something they can help with like.. i dunno.. MINE .. ahem.. anyway.. i listen to ALL your shits and see if its something that i can or should handle OMG THE MORE I TYPE THE MORE I CAN RANT ... so much.. annoyance..

Ok louis focus.. anyway..u can rage about this and that but when u rage about people who matter to me.. i'm not happy..so yeah.. that pretty much sums it all up... i dun care if your status or friendship with me is higher/longer.. if what you're saying is like wrong place wrong time wrong ANYTHING.. its not cool at all..this is what WE sensitive people are awesome at.. we can determine these shits and do the right thing unlike u morons that just take it and let ur friends get that invisible slap.. yes u can say that they dun know if i dun tell.. to that.. i say fuck u cause thats what YOU will do.. i'm not you.. i'm not so lowly as to avoid defending my friends .. even if you are mine as well..it clearly shows that u dun respect or see me as one because u dun fucking give my other friends face at all.

this is that one post that i've decided to post and conclude that if any of these people reads this..i'm ok with the consequences..and fyi.. all those fuckers who reads this and are like part of the "moron" grouping will be saying.. ohhh louis.. u talk so much abt facing problems larh.. wad ..do shit to achieve.. bla bla so u moron also la.. since u dun open ur mouth and say us u also moron hahaha.

to that.. i'll say.. this determines the difference in intellect..the reason why fights break out is because of this ideal of being too open about certain things.. there are certain things that can be slapped in the face and certain things that should be partially hidden... u may think of this as an excuse but i assure u its not.. sure i suck it arguments cus often my ideas and opinion of things is against a majority and i get like mass argued against .. even if its against one .. i also lose out.. why? i stutter.. its not cause i'm not confident in my speaking and my choice of actions but rather.. i'm just like that.. and often this aspect is used against me and.. i'm doomed.. i have to construct sentences in my brain before answering cause of this.. anyway back to the point..many times.. opinions like this post are in fact and honestly right..i'm not someone who looks at things from my eyes but rather the correct path's eyes if that makes sense.. being sucha harsh person to myself made me realise that more often than not .. serious shits are things that i am very fair about ( of course small stuff like which color is better i will be unfair la.. cus .. I do like certain colors and not others )... and like.. if somehow u are awesome in arguing .. ur gonna make urself think that this opinions are wrong.. and its a waste of time duncha think? Cause face it.. how do lawyers win? they persuade.. even when something is clearly wrong in society or watever.. they can persuade.. salesmen...awesome people.. but they do it cause they gain something.. right? like lawyers.. win get money la.. salesmen also.. main point , to win..but yeah.. even though i do gain like emotional victory or smth.. its like.. meh :X hard to convince but yeah so your gonna convince cause u wanna avoid losing omg.. wall of text makes it hard to type..i'm lost...aiya i only know that no point i say something that can be argued against and like put myself at a disadvantage when i'd rather share it with people secretly and like.. keep it as a like.. lesson and observation thing..yeah sneaky i know.. and ..yeah..

LOL.. i realise that i'd really have to type this.. ok.. If i have use for you.. i won't do anything to make me lose watever "fake" friendship we have..this is like the main reason to it all..the whole fights break out thing.. ok..say i have a business partner who happens to be this person.. yeah.. u know the rest.. bad work output and all that.. why? cause we cant work together..this is just an example but yeah.. its harsh for me to say so but ultimately it all boils down to.. if i have use for u.. then.. i wont soil our "friendship" easy as that...

So yeah.. thats about it..i think i've covered everything.. raging dudes...dun diss my friends even if u are one of my friends.. why i type here instead of in ur face... yup should be done.. wow.. long post eh...I love how even when i type this.. i'm trying to give un-hurting ans rather than just straight up shoot out wad i wan say.. louis ar louis.. why u so.. zzz =.=...can shorten ur post u know :( ..

oh and side note..example i miss a game shot.. when i say i missed cause my dog ran pass my feet.. i mean it ... i dun fucking make excuses like i giving chance and all that.. unless i'm making an obvious joke with a clownish face..so although it hard to say.. just believe me =.=.. sometimes it gets annoying when THAT face and THAT YAH RIGHT is thrown at me.. i'd rather u take it and not believe it or ask me to clarify or watever..its kinda hard to say cause many people do this and lie abt it.. and i kinda cant say that i dun lie sometimes but.. ZOMG i dunno how say.. nvm forget it.. its just something that cannot be believed i guess.. hahas.. just some random happy ish thing to end this post :D

2011-08-03T01:49:00.003+08:00

Honestly , I'd rather if any1 of you told me seriously and truthfully whether I am needed or wanted anot.. cus tbh i dun mind being a loner.. i can work for myself and only myself ..u guys are so insensitive towards how i feel.. o wait.. to u guys i have no feelings since i always smile and take all ur insults.. and when i actually show my anger.. u think i'm joking..

Just tell me straight-up and i'd leave the group and all that jazz...i wont mind .. i'd just talk to u guys for group works and only that.. cause honestly its getting frustrating to be thought of as a punching bag or watever...

Oh wait.. u dun think of me as one? u think of me as a fren?

then fucking treat me like one

2011-08-02T21:42:00.003+08:00

Whats wrong with me liking what I like.. is there a set of rules that determine a whether something is cool , homo , inappropriate, useless etc..

You like those sets of vids and like i these.. u like those types of music and I like these... what the fuark is wrong with me liking the things I like.. even if its a joke .. sometimes there is a limit.. there are things that really mean alot to me and each time i'm insulted or named as homo or watever because my choices of things are different from yours, i'm not happy..

This is why.. i'm disgusted with any one who says anything along the lines of "I'm more sensitive than u" ..cause now i realise.. this isnt the case anymore.. i dun believe in people hiding their sensitive side.. cus i feel that i can feel or see it..

The last time i fought with benoit..he told me he is sensitive and he doesnt show it and i told him wad bla bla.. he doesnt show it.. i change what i say...he IS sensitive.. i can tell.. but this attribute he has is only one-sided.. as of now.. i cant think properly but by one-sided to me it means that he is either sensitive when hearing things meaning he gets insulted like me over stuff like increasing tone or whatever.. or .. he is sensitive towards others.. the whole choosing the right words.. bleh.. cant think my ass... its obvious that he is only sensitive to what ppl ..say..abt..wait........his not too.. ok he's an ass :D

yay.. now thats aside .. good :D wish there were classes for ppl to learn how to be more sensitive.. honestly.. i take this attribute very srsly cus i really am disgusted whenever some1 says their sensitive and gives me crap that pisses me off.. crap that should be avoided because its so damn obvious that it will piss the other dude off.. one sided sensible asshole =.=...Go slap urself =.=

If the number of times i fling cus i know that some dude has said something to hurt another is the number of slaps i can give some1... damn... i'd be happpppyy :D

2011-08-02T11:26:00.005+08:00

After watching a taiwan drama with my mom.. i realise that i had an old dream which i forgotten.. and that is to be a lawyer.. but of course a side detail is that i wan to be one without having to read those huge books.. anyway it was so cool how they talk back and all that based on wad they learnt from law and all that.. haha i dunno something random :P

Another random thing is the way i read chinese... the way i read chinese is the same as how i read english.. what i mean is.. i read key words to roughly understand sentences .. after a few sentences.. i roughly understand the story..XD.. of course chinese not as good la.. but.. yeah :X

I dunno being random XD...One last random thing i guess is that i'd like to be a phy... phy.. CANT SPELL! anyway.. be THAT without reading those books too.. haha.. want help ppl with their emotional problems .. now all i need is a patient XD..

2011-08-01T09:13:00.002+08:00

Slightly random but.. twice.. i've dreamt about dragonboating .. lol.. and like how the seniors were supportive despite how bad i was ..

I wonder if my dream their actual characteristics or characteristics that i hoped they have..i mean.. personally .. i do know which ones are the ones who CAN care.. and which coulden't.. lol another random thingy but.. LOL i read them again .. XD accident.. anyway..

ARGHH i dunno wad i typing.. haha.. aiya dunno la.. but they were nice to me in my dream XD...supportive.. and in both dreams i told them i want go back dragonboat.. which is kinda true but.. meh.. 2 reasons why cant..

1) Too late le.. august.. yucks no ty..

2) LOL the seniors... this 1 i cant guess if they'll welcome me or not..some will but some wont.. i can tell that some of them dun really like me due to how weak i was.. yucks..

BLEH class started haha :P

2011-08-01T02:10:00.002+08:00

Haha .. i realise i always rant here.. like.. exposing myself .. all the things which i chose to hide are revealed here so easily.. whats the point of hiding them in the first place when i'm gonna simply reveal them here..ah hah.. but not everyone reads my blog :X..but .. i'll never know will i.. for all we know.. my classmates do read my blog...

Uh yeah.. like that lo.. haha.. so short right :X

And hor.. i am so lucky that my evil mind is countered by my brain lollollol

2011-07-30T22:22:00.002+08:00

Argh.. the table was sooo dirty..

Everything in life happens for a reason.. and like.. for some reason.. i'm happy that things turned out this way..thru that event did everything that happened thus far, happened .. and like.. i dunno..

Thinking back.. its smth that i'll think about every single day.. each time i'm about to.. each time i think of .. each time i see.. etc etc.. its like this tiny sensor that vibrates furiously that reminds me of it.. and despite all of the horridness that was felt.. i feel that thru that did we grow .. both as people and as frens..

I didnt want to accept at first cus.. i felt that.. after 3 years of coming to accept it and all that...things should be left as it is cus like.. without it.. so much woulden't happen.. sure it caused some set-backs but.. the positive points to me where a great deal..

I wanted to continue but.. yeah..u coulden't ..i could guess ur reasoning but i coulden't guess wad made u bring it up..its sudden..even though i had a thought of it in the afternoon due to a chat.. it was still sudden...and its alright.. its a long conquered issue that i dun wish to bring up on such a negative note... it should be a positive or normal conversation that affects us in a way other than sad..

So i accept.. only if u accept mine 3 years ago as well as now.. for giving u sucha hard time.. tbh.. it shouldent be a case of accepting or not.. rather.. talking abt what we gained from it.. loses... meh dun think of lost.. responsibility.. trust.. appreciation and many more..

Its an experience that i've learnt from which allows me to help guide others thru problems that are similar..much like to a fren now.. so.. aiyo.. long story short.. its not meant to be seen negatively.. its conquered.. done.. finished.. see it positively and as a lesson.. at least for my part.. for you.. i dunno :X u'll have to see for yourself... and..although we ended fast.. paiseh that i didnt end faster.. i knew why i had to cover my eyes..

2011-07-27T14:22:00.003+08:00

Is my expressions so difficult to read.. do i look happy when i'm clearly disgusted and irritated? I love how people can further piss me off even if I am already showing them a clear sign that I am irritated by something..

I like to rant.. and honestly i dun give a flying fuck if no one in this world wants to listen to me.. even if u show me a poker face or a i-dun-care-but-heck-i'll-look-like-i-do face..I will be satisfied cus face it..usually i can tell if you REALLY care or not but at least u TRY to make me feel like you bother... but it pisses me off when you tell me that you dun wan to listen.. now.. i know everyone has a choice..i aint forcing ya to listen but dun freaking say it straight to my face..cant u just say something like.. Chill dude and walk away? Really must.. i dun give wanna give a fck .. like to normal ppl.. it wouldent be much... its like.. yeah ok they dun wanna listen i'm bothering them so on so forth.. but to me its like..whats my worth.. am i just some hi-bye fren that u throw away as soon as you dun see me..cus if so.. i'll treat u a whole lot differently..

I wish i were more straight-forward rather than think abt how i shud reply so as to not hurt anyone.. why do i spend the time and effort to work my brain at its fastest speed so as to immediately reply you..

This is why i always preferred females over males...face it.. we males are fckers.. we think for ourselves more than others... only to girlfriends do they show that little bit of "care" but honestly.. after awhile.. its back to selfish fckers..As much as i try to read and do things that are most beneficial to everyone.. i too am a male.. if it is something which is at a disadvantage to me and possibly makes me unhappy.. i would ease out of it with "kind" excuses ..

O wait who am i kidding.. there are reasons why the word bitch is used.. females too are like that.. but i guess i'm lucky to meet the right girl-friends.. but males.. to me they are all the same.. as nice as they are.. they are most likely just like me.. having that selfish-like attribute but have the ability to escape through smart thinking..bleh.. fcking gender difference

now in this course.. i'm deemed as gay and a homo cus i'm like this.. so much irritatable jokes abt me being sensitive ... my high pitched voice..along with having to face intolerable fckers that are insensitive and complete assholes that only care about their self-being rather than that of everyone elses.. oh oh i forgot one more asswipe that thinks he is like some all popular smart ass fcker that knows all and everyone else ard him is stupid shits...

Fudge cakes

2011-07-25T01:30:00.004+08:00

I know i said i wont rant so much any more but.. yeah.. its kinda expected that i will fail at it seeing that so many things annoy me so much..

First up..it kinda wasnt smth i wanted to post abt but watever i shall do it..Had some chatting session with mom and elder sis.. lame stuff... like what some fortune teller dude who chose my name foretold when he chose my name.. old presents we gave mom.. all that.. and then we wound up talking abt my younger sis...and usually when this topic pops up.. the whole "who-gets-what" shit is repeated.. so as all of u know..my elder sis is hardworking but not intelligent.. while i am the opposite..so i was going on abt how she is better than me seeing that hardworking is actually a better attribute when suddenly.. i heard this.." You got the IQ while I got the EQ" ... and i was like .. disgusted.. i dunno.. i'm not saying that her EQ is horrible.. but after hearing her say that .. it just further downgraded her so called "high-leveled" EQ seeing that she failed to know that it affect the emotions of others around her.. particularly mine.. i mean..by deeming that she has the EQ.. it is saying she has the best EQ among us all and having judge her EQ as (fill up own judgement) .. it feels degrading to think that my EQ is lower than hers..and like.. of course i dun think that way...its not a competition.. but having this train of thought enter my mind.. it annoyed me how she thinks she a better people's person than me... i'm certainly not that good at it but like .. i know when i hurt some1 .. and heck.. usually i prevent myself from doing so.. those "practically-no-one-will-realise-it-will-cause-distress-though-in-reality-it-does-if-u-are-annoyingly-sensitive-like-me" stuff like.. raising your voice, having additional words like lar , too, also at the end of the sentence which gives a sentence 2 meanings etc... point of this is...i dont think she understands people well enuf.. though we are both sensitive..she choose to make it a down-side to herself while i use it to my advantage..

Now.. Louis.. ur complaining and bragging an awful lot..yeah .. thats because i realise that she unknowingly LOVES to get my into trouble... today.. i suddenly had a meeting with shihui they all and despite wanting to go tennis, i decided to go with them .. she was writing a note to auntie the previous nite.. asking her wake me up in the morning.. then like dad was there so i told him "my tennis:( then like NAUUUUU" like.. a manner where it shows i am already sad... then she has to come out of the kitchen and go "who your fren so.. so important".. and its like.. that phrase.. its like.. think about it... if you were my dad.. u would feel the same way.. like YA LORH UR FREN SO BIG AR.. and i'm like.. trying to ignore her.. then she goes along and say "THEN YOUR TENNIS HOW? SKIP AR..PAY ALREADY STILL SKIP"... and like... wtf.. yeah...EQ high my ass =.=...ok tbh i dun really understand what attributes grades EQ..but this to me.. just shows so much.. she can barely understand situations of other people, she is so straight-forward and oblivious to people's feelings.. yup.. thats why i had to post it... its annoying..

BLEH!..

anyway.. as mentioned i wanted to ignore the stuff abv..but.. yeah...angry day yeah ..

Ard 6 go dinner with cousins.. Bday mah.. so yesh.. sushi buffet gogo nom nom...its all fine and fun .. i have an assignment to do but thats my problem.. i dun wanna ruin people's fun by saying i gtg do work so i sit there quietly... and here comes the frustration...

I can stand not reaching home on time for work.. but if the time is dragged on because of retardations.. i am not happy.. now why do i say this... the host.. aka the father of the bday boy.. is so.. fcking.. retarded...wth is wrong with him.. he complains abt every little thing.. the air con.. the spacing .. the sauceplate.. and i'm like wtf?! And thats not the half of it... it is sucha attention whore.. dun think i cant see it u dick .. your so called "jokes" may be funny but just cause everyone laughs doesnt mean i wont notice what your doing .. heck ALL your jokes since the day i was born is like this.. u say smth that somehow has an insultive element and make that as a joke...and like.. here is an example.. the kids there were like primary 4/5 .. he was like asking them if their smart .. giving them question and like it is all meant as a joke but the thing is.. a joke towards the other adults.. what about the kid's feelings? You called him stupid for getting a question wrong.. sure i get that it is a joke.. but dun forget.. i was a kid before .. and just like this one.. i faced your fcked up "jokes" before.. i know how hurtful it felt.. it doesnt feel like their laugh WITH you.. it feels like they are laughing at me .. FYI.. i nv agreed to be your joke .. i'm not a joke.. and now i see you doing it to some one else.. i'm not happy duh ..

Srsly .. i know i'm being petty but its annoying.. he is those type of people that is all bark and no bite..yes .. i read my own cousins.. whether i am right or wrong.. i woulden't know.. my father is the eldest and srsly.. i find he is the best.. he is some1 who has the bark and the bite.. while the other 2 .. are just all talk... the host is the MOST noisiest one.. the other 1 .. plain weak..srsly.. his growl is my squeak .. no bite also ...still hate him for last time my family and his family go other country.. i think i was like 4/5 and my mom and dad were like out on their own to enjoy themselves leaving me and my elder sis with his family.. and like.. i'm 4/5.. obviously i cant find my mom and dad i would keep asking wanting to know where they are.. i still rmb how u shouted at us to shut up and all that...guess thats why i dun like my cousins.. i dun want to feel like i have to give them anything..like in future they need money for company.. i dun wanna be some1 they look for ... i wont lend them a cent

bunch of crabsticks =.=

Oh Oh .. and the bloody host JUST HAD TO bring up the whole muscles shiet ... cause his two sons.. one older than me by 1 and the other sec 4.. are like buff dudes...fyi the sec 4 one is buffer.. anyway.. its like.. he's talking to my elder sis about how their arms are big and all that .. and knowing him.. he talks loud... so every1 there were listening.. and like.. its fcked up.. its clearly sucha sensitive topic and yet it never fails to get shoved in my face... clearly in their minds.. they are eyeing the two dudes arms and comparing with the other guys in the room.. aka me and my other cousin who is also skinny.. and like.. its frustrating cus they are the types that are so oblivious of so many things...and they judge us so fast ... we are hard gainers.. we dun gain fat like you F*king shiets ... we eat but we dont gain but when we excercise we lose like bucket loads .. i'm not born so lucky as to have a "normal-typed" body like them... they were plump before.. its so freaking easy to convert those excess fats or watever into muscle.. I am skinny whether i like it or not .. even if i train like hell all i'd get is just definition and thats it why? cus i'm skinny and like.. i know it cant be helped but its like.. my family are so unaware of how i feel abt this..why cant they like give me some eye signal to hint that its ok or smth.. why do I give my elder sis " the WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS DUDE" face when he clearly says smth to insult her.. while she cant give me tat same face of understanding when he blurts out that disgusting topic =.=.. Train train also no use =.= dao huey.. Then they in their minds will think their more superior or smth .. when clearly it is because of their luck in body type bleh..

yes.. i think far and think alot .. even if they dun think so now... they will.. face it.. no 1 in this world is all that humble,gracious and watever.. After all.. dunno wad saying.. there is always light in the darkess places or smth.. well..vise versa.. there is always darkness in the lightest of places.. or smth like that ..

Well.. thats one heck of a long post.. i shud have continued doing my work but wadever.. dateline suppose to be like.. .now.. but watever.. submit tomorrow ..

EQ.. ha.. my ass =.=...

PS: i realise that my blog posts just destroys my EQ rep cus.. yeah.. things that i hide upon actual confrontation to prevent hurting of feelings are revealed here...

PSS: All my "brags" are not meant to show off to you.. its to tell you what i CAN do.. but yet.. u always seem to degrade my capabilities.. much like how u didnt think i'd shave .. but hey.. i do if i have a razor which i bought by myself no thanks to u...you'll regret looking down on me one day..then again.. there's nothing i can gain by scheming here..so maybe u WONT regret after all...after all.. u wont see it even if i reveal everything to u

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Poly is sucha buzzkill.. i would gladly idle ard all night with cha but the whole "school" crap is just ...BLEH!..

2011-07-18T11:05:00.000+08:00

Skyscraper by Demi Lovato is simply awesome.. LOL

i feel like doing a cover of it.. but lol the note at the end is really ... OMG.. and horh.. my voice ar...haiz.. cmi :X LALALALLA

2011-07-17T23:54:00.002+08:00

Hmm... for some reason.. i decided to bear the full burden of nikki's operation.. at least.. in terms of money.. just transferred 1k to my sister's account..

I'm not to sure why.. but i feel like... i shuden make her pay for smth which I cause.. she just asked me why i did it.. and obviously i cant say this to her...she woulden accept the money.. heck she already wouldent want it...i had to say that i feel happy to pay.. which is kinda true cus it made me realise the importance of nikki.. but i kinda realise too that.. this is such a contradictive sentence.. seeing that i caused the problem to begin with.. all because i wanted to play my game..but thinking again... its not that.. my match ended.. i was just stupid and dumb.. as mentioned before.. its so funny how i talk abt competence when i can commit such dumb mistakes..bleh :P

My mom just walked in.. and pestered me to tell her why i pay and why my sister didnt mind not taking the money...she was insistent that my dad paid us when she told him not to... then in a turn of events.. where she kept pressurising me with things like.. i'm paying for my sis allowing her to buy more crap and like i dun take money srsly... haha i cried.. lol..cant help it.. cus i wanted to shout at her so bad.. but i still couldent do it .. cus it would cause more distress to everyone.. so i had to go for the soft approach with lead to tears instead of fire.. which.. i disliked.. i dun wan to be seen as weak.. plus.. it makes me look so unattactive..told her the real reason why i paid..

Anyway.. i was angry..till date she cant understand how my mind works.. i'm not stupid.. i know how to handle money... sure i spend more than most friends but at the same time.. i save much more than many... its based on percentage of the money i have.. i dunno how say but.. yeah... and like.. she say wad if she give me all her life-savings.. i would be soft hearted and give my sis.. i'm like.. i wont... and yet she was soooo persisitent to telling me how i shud save the money than give to sister despite me saying that i'm a person who analyze the situation before doing smth...and like.. i even told her I KNOW THAT YOU THINK THIS WAY LONG AGO.. like... srsly... i'm that fast...

Isit that hard to understand how i think...its just.. 2 - 3 steps ahead...in the end.. even though we ended off with a smile.. i'm typing this... i had to faked it off nicely for her before i yell at her for not being able to comprehend wad i've said despite shooting everything out to her...its been ages since i teared ..guess i know how much stress it is for some1 to ALMOST ( she kinda failed :X ) understand me... yikes.. thats kinda bad haha

Sometimes.. i feel like.. i'm just a scary person...if i met some1 like me.. o wait.. i did.. my teacher... and i kinda fear him...the idea that we can hurt anyone we choose to simply with our minds, figuratively speaking that is..

haha.. i even told her abt the whole one word affects the way i think... from raising your voice.. to adding a ONLY to the end of a sentence... even the speed of which u reply affects the way i judge u...i wonder if i met various types of people in my previous life.. cus for some reason.. i feel theres this portion of my brain that saves characteristics of certain people and when i observe these attributes being portrayed.. i am able to judge them ..isit normal? :X

Well.. i've kinda revealled alot here.. was reluctant too but o well... i'm already thinking too much abt my way of phrasing to ensure this doesnt come off too .. uhh...yucky? haha.. Louis ar louis.. cannot be so scary..try to be slower...dumber.. not act cus u do that very often...BE those things..jiayou ~

2011-07-16T00:51:00.004+08:00

Hmm..knowing that i've to pay 2k ++ for nikki.. i kinda feel happy ..

This past 2 days without her made me realise how empty the house feels ... Even though i dun play with her like alot .. i stay in my room play game.. each time i go out to maybe go toilet or smth.. i will see her in her usual spot.. the black sofa or brown sofa.. lying down.. i'll go over to her and remove dirt from her eyes.. hear her growl at me for disturbing her... rub her head a little then go back to room..

Cant wait to have her back

Hmm..but i think i shud get a job.. to better handle her.. 2k.. wow.. thats a huge toll on my wallet.. i've already decided to quit tennis.. sure i like it but.. yeah.. its 200 per 3 months.. so assuming i didnt quit for 30 months.. i would save 2k :D... As for items which i've been longing to buy.. like better face stuff.. oatmeal does it all... and as for that pull-up bar ..o well.. wait for NS lo...i dun wanna ask my parents cus they'll say the same thing... YOU DONT WORK OUT..>THE WEIGHTS IN UR ROOM NV USE DE... bleh.. lazy to listen... i dun wanna ask my frens cus... yikes.. $30++ i think... plus my birthday over haha..

Hmm.. i kinda wan to get a job.. but i'm quite bad in alot of things...My sister said dancer.. nah.. cant freestyle.. will fail audition...Now all i can think of is model.. but..i suck in finding these stuff.. i really envy those frens who got spotted or got connections and all that...super li hai.. BLEH BLEH nvm.. i shall go sleep.. super bored.. got work but...u know me :P

Side note.. i kinda feel weird thinking positively abt something so extreme but hey... it goes to show that watever the circumstance .. as long as u look at things positive..you can make it SEEM positive...am i making sense.. i mean.. afterall.. my dog is kinda facing shit here...yet i'm going all.. "i dun mind paying cus i now realise her importance in my life" when i shud be " HOLY IS SHE OK!?" ... o wait.. i still feel like that.. but...hmm..................POSITIVE!! *hint hint* ...

2011-07-15T00:26:00.002+08:00

My dog had an issue with regards to a durian seed being stuck in her throat.. blah and blah.. she had to go thru with an operation in the end that cost 2k+ and my sis and I are bearing all the cost..now.. thru this event i've came to realise so much ...

How weak my elder sister really is...

Despite her strong fronts.. she is unable to manage stress well and panic whenever a hard decisions comes about...

How selfish my mom is...

I love how they go.. "let nikki die" and "dun waste the money" .. but for some reason.. the timing of everything makes it seem like my dad is looking at things from a viewpoint regarding how we, his children feel... unlike my mom who focuses on her own preferences and choice..

How evil i really am...

This is gonna be a long one cus.. its me ...Throughout the thing.. my mom and dad raged at my sister.. I wasnt there with her at the vet / hospital cus i in school.. anyway.. I know my sister is unable to go "fierce" on my parents like how she does with her siblings ... especially at this time.. and like.. i dunno why but throughout the whole period.. i kept thinking of what to say if a certain situation arises.. like if my dad calls or my mom.. and like.. i dunno why.. but i love.. yes.. LOVE imagining myself choking my mom .. not my dad cus.. he is stronger.. but.. hey.. i'm faster.. ANYWAY back on track.. its like.. if they told me to shut up while i'm talking...for some reason i feel happy and at the same time..insanely evil envisioning myself grab her throat and pinning her against her wall.. explaining to everyone how no one in this family could do shit...

Evil side apart.. my sister had a major breakdown.. talking abt daddy threatening to kill nikki even if she is cured.. and like..which is impt? .. when he thinks or nikki? like.. srsly... i felt annoyed that i wasnt there with her to scold him...he kill.. i report police.. easy as that.. does he really think he can win in a threat fight here? no way ... take my com? take my internet.. srsly...dont waste ur time .. u wont win..

Honestly speaking.. i was HOPING they called me...i was sooo prepared and ready to tell them off...shoving this major phrase in their face " if i'm nikki.. wad will u do" ..

Bleh.. so disgusted... so much incompetence everywhere that it makes me sick.. i really dont wanna seem like some awesome freak that knows everything ..but de heck..can i see something competent for once?

Of course.. the whole durain thing is my fault anyway.. who am i to talk abt competence when i gave her the durain.. sis ask me feed and look .. i forgot she gobble everything in like a few sec... sure enuf.. i put down.. she swallow in 2 sec flat... i shud hold .. i shud have tore piece by piece for her...sometimes i also dunno why i can be so stupid.. its like.. the most far end stuff that many dun care abt are things I focus on based on competence and what not...then this simple common sense thing i can forget.. i dunno how my brain works.. so fcked up sometimes yet so not fcked up..

Bleh.. anyway.. i really dun wanna bring up this situation any time in my life..i'm gonna post it here and dun wanna hear it again...no message pl0x :X i dun wanna think abt the 2k but hard not to...

Hmm.. hoping to find a modeling job if i can..but..sigh..not tall enuf and all that plus.. not very adventurous and photogenic.. BLEH...or shud i go for like.. dancer job..YUCKS nvm...i'm gonna quit tennis.. thats all i know

2011-07-11T22:06:00.002+08:00

Meow~ I Did my hair today... looks black :( NAUUUUU

Asked for brown + orange but.. it came out black with one or two strands of orange.. bleh.. so ..so..BLACK..NAUUU

Heh.. u know.. its stupid how ppl think nth affects me just cus i smile and talk back with retarded mom jokes that makes me look more stupider.. I'm not stupid.. thats for one..I enjoy seeing how limited everyone's range of vision is..and i dun mean clear vision or looking far better or watever..

I mean like..why isit ppl judge and see others in a certain light so quickly and in sucha shallow manner..There is always.. and i mean ALWAYS more to it..

Wow.. i'm realy dunno how to express myself.. for those reading this.. just pretend it make sense.. wait.. who am i kidding.. even if i could express myself.. there's no point in understanding it..

Honestly.. its quite funny how i am deemed as retarded,chirpy,loud,clueless,etc, just because you see me as that..it just causes a retarded chain of psychological to occur.. it makes me THINK i really am like that and thus.. act accordingly.. it makes others THINK i am like that.. and see me in the same way which further triggers the first..now..wow.. i'm really clueless on how to express it...

Lets see.. in different situations.. i act differently.. thats who i am.. I'm someone who changes everything about myself to best suit the person I am talking to.. its not because i want to please the person but its because it feels natural to me, i feel better all that jazz... ARGH how do i say it... like.. i'm not slow or stupid ... dun see me as that.. like.. if i can change myself to suit ppl.. there must be an attribute which i have that allows me to do so.. why else can i analyse the ppl around me well enuf to talk in a manner that best suit you? something like that.. it sounds so far fetch in a way.. like.. its retarded how fantasy and magical it sounds like.. wad change personaility.. but yeah thats the best i can express it..

FYI..i change my manner of speech to suit u.. so if u deem me as slow and stupid or watever.. yeah.. there is a reason .. if u suddenly have any problems that require an increase in sophistication .. u will definately see a change.. o wait.. who am i kidding.. u wouldent =.=... because practically everyone will still continue to save that image of dumbo louis in their brains :D wad joy eh?

oh ya and.. dun take advantage of me will ya? :D.. i dont need you fyi...dun ask me and use retarded guilt shots to get me to do something i dun want to..i can read into all these cheap shots and i know the type of mental affect ur trying to slap me with .. yes .. i can be a scary person.. sure i cant argue cus i am a nub shit that abides by "dun interupt others when they are speaking" but dun take advantage of me..more often than not .. in arguments.. i am just dying to punch you ...

right now u may be thinking.. omg louis.. grow up.. dun make urself sound so (so and so)..yeah.. maybe i am being immature and still thinking that i am all these.. but hey.. i dont know.. i would love for YOU to tell me wad i really am but face it.. u cant.. no one can.. u will always keep that image of me being a dumb and gullible gay dude in ur tiny brain :D Until u can read me like an open book.. dun bother trying.. cus till date.. i know i'm suppose to say no one can to sound more cool but.. tbh.. my apel teacher is quite close to who i am as a person.. so.. yeah.. its scary how he did it even without knowing me that well.. yucks.. but hey.. i felt he was somewhat like me too... yucks..o..kay... i shud go do work.. PROCRASTINATING AGAIN YUCKS

2011-07-10T23:50:00.001+08:00

Wow...just a random thought but I have a retarded vocal range lol..

Not a rant btw :D.. that day go chalet hor.. a fren accidently pick up a call .. appearently it was his mom and he kinda heard the things we did in the room for like 17mins.. and to give u an idea of wad we were doing.. lets just say.. when ur in a room with playful guys... yeah.. =.=...

ANYWAY .. *ahem* .. he suddenly said he couldent sleep over cus his mom heard a girl's voice.. and .. yeah.. it was me.. HAHA... hilarious.. yeah.. point here being.. i realise i have a very high pitch girly voice.. but.. at the same time.. i can make it much lower than any of my guy frens... so yes.. retarded vocal range.. soooo happy :D

But heres the yucky part.. how do i make it sound nice.. HAHAHAH..

Just recorded "one moment in time" one with higher pitch and another lower.. as always its so different from how i heard it in my head.. but yeah.. i really dunno which is the singing voice.. higher pitch feels more natural while lower feels forced.. however.. lower sounds more normal than the higher.. LOL...Blur :X..

Anyway yeah thats all :D i'm being random.. OH YA.. and i procrastinated from work.. off-ed my com to do work on my lappy at like.. 6? guess wad... its going to be 12 and i did nth :( CURSE U YOUTUBE!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-07-05T21:57:00.005+08:00

More often than not, "hidden feelings" doesn't work on me. I just choose to know or not.

Alrighty..today we had e-learning for one class so.. i guess i got to sleep more :D Needed it.. yesterday no 1 at home so i could sing and record like crazyyyy yayyyy.. as always i hated the playbacks but watever :D

Got back DBIS today.. kinda disappointed ( wads new =.=) I got A.. but YUCKS.. lost 3 marks... 45/50.. shud be 48.. highest in class is 48.5....ARGH got two of them somemore !! EU()(#@*U)@*#& i wanna be a top :( damn...

its kinda funny how i got to check my marks though.. initially didnt want to see cus i scared no A..then i put my bag with the paper behind me... suddenly while doing work my fren say out loud 45.. LOLLLOL...every1 laughed .. i stun face haha...

Ok its kinda weird for me to post my day.. not used to it.. cus like.. so boring and so little on content of my view of life and stuff :X..

Anyway did jap with my team today.. i feel bad for them cus i kept on talking.. like i wan the story to go my way...i dunno why.. but i feel like their version is just not creative.. so...boring :(.. mine was REALLY REALLY random... like something u wouldent normally think about..they tried to make it more sane-like but... meow:(.. i dun like.. haha.. o well..

In the end we completed everything except for the translation...quite good..

hmm.. i guess thats it for my day..

I never did have one fixed emotion..when i smile.. there's another emotion hidden...when i rage.. there's another emotion hidden..i'm not covering what i'm feeling but..i know that of the two.. one would not cause others distress..Haha..so much meaning to this statement..I like :D

"my parents are rich wad" / " you rich wad"

... i hate these lines...

2011-07-05T21:57:00.003+08:00

More often than not, "hidden feelings" doesn't work on me. I just choose to know or not.

Ok its kinda weird for me to post my day.. not used to it.. cus like.. so boring and so little on content of my view of life and stuff :X..

In the end we completed everything except for the translation...quite good..

hmm.. i guess thats it for my day..

2011-07-05T21:57:00.002+08:00

More often than not, "hidden feelings" doesn't work on me. I just choose to know or not.

Ok its kinda weird for me to post my day.. not used to it.. cus like.. so boring and so little on content of my view of life and stuff :X..

In the end we completed everything except for the translation...quite good..

hmm.. i guess thats it for my day..

2011-07-04T01:05:00.003+08:00

Wow 3 post in 1 day..

Anyway.. i realised that lately.. all my posts are so negative and disgusting.. since when have i become like that? I dont rmb.. haha its so funny how i've become like that without even knowing.. i guess it all started after poly started...

Weee.. i've decided to stop posting negative things.. i'm sure its gonna be hard but yeah.. i shall try to stop.. i'm sure it will occasionally pop up though but.. yeah :D.. bear with it..

Tomorrow got school :( yucks.. i guess i gotta go sleep now... but before i go snooze...

My dark circles are getting more prominent.. gotta conceal them or it'll scare people.. even if it requires loads of effort :D Cannot let the concealer come off..Its just too horrible haha

2011-07-03T22:09:00.003+08:00

I hate ur whining..u're self-centered in my eyes.. I really dont know why and cant explain why but u just are.. it pisses me off..its like.. why cant u just learn to be giving and give way to others.. just cause we give it doesnt mean we WANT to.. but rather we feel like we should.. I hear almost everyone of my other friends do so.. except for u..

When shit happens.. u whine... when shit doesnt go ur way.. u whine.. its frustrating to constantly hear it..but of course.. why would i post this if it didnt affect me right?

Yes..this is where my analytical part of me shines...because.. i bet all of u reading this now.. are like.. Louis.. u whine a lot too.. and this is where i get frustrated for thinking so far ahead into things..why do i have to start thinking so into things from the moment i have to.. for once.. i just wanna be an idiot that doesnt know..

Ok.. heres the thing..it pisses me off because he is whining about retarded things...i dun wanna say WAD here because i dont know who reads my posts...but its like..i feel that there is some sort of resentment towards me because of my constant complaining of stuff..and i guess i find it unfair that he isnt shown any.. am i the only one who notices these stuff? am i looking into things too deeply for my own good? its like...wad he whines abt are like super not-impt stuff.. like.. REALLY not impt.. and yet ppl tries to tell him to relax..why do i.. who complains abt things that matter so much to me... like my grades..get a different form of reply.. i know their joking but.. sometimes its really frustrating... just cus i LOOK like i dun mind the way u reply.. doesnt mean i FEEL like i dun mind..FYI.. grades are impt to me cus i wann go to a uni in singapore so that i dun waste money to go other country so yes.. it matters ( sorry reading ahead )

Its really bothersome... to want to help ppl...they often..no wait.. they ALWAYS take advantage of it..fyi.. I DONT OWE U ANYTHING.. i choose to help at my own free will cus i'm just that way.. too fcking nice and naive...as much as i always tell myself that i can beat down those who take advantage of me... i still cant bring myself to do it..

Often then not.. I see myself doing crazy things..preparing myself for when it happens.. it sounds fishy but.. in my eyes its not.. take car accidents for example...to people its like.. once u run out onto the road with a speeding car about to hit u in 1 sec .. u die.. to me.. i've thought about it and like.. jump?! .. i mean its the bumper that kills u.. jump past that and trip on the windshield.. sure u get hurt but... u live right? I know its hard to say cus i haven really been in situations where this random thoughts were of any use...whether or not i can pull them out in time.. i dun know.. point is.. having think of things far ahead.. i feel like.. if really it happens.. i am at least 1 sec faster in reaction..why am i beating ard the bush.. physically .. i can kick ur ass.. dun talk abt strength now.. i have thought abt retarded moves and i can kick ur arse :D Put it this way.. in a game of catch..normal ppl choose to outrun the catcher.. i choose to outsmart him..

Now that thats done :D.. hurrah.. i really didnt know where i was going with that.. it was just a random rant again.. wow i shud name this continuous-rants :D.. i hate my blog name XD.. but lazy ask ppl relink bla bla so nah...

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Read into things again and..do i get irritated when you hate on ur nails?

2011-07-03T12:28:00.003+08:00

Oh i just realise that i've 300 post already.. this is 301 :D yay..

Ok one word.. CONTRIBUTE .. lol.. i love how my mom asks me to teach my sister math while she sits on her bum watching tv and playing her computer game.. her msg very aizai today...

"No more delay. You have to teach your sis. Her PSLE in sept! you have to sacrifice your game for one hour plus. I dont think its too much to ask from your mom!"..

Li hai li hai.. honestly i dun mind sacrificing to teach her..last exam i saw her use my methods and get the question corrects which is good.. but hor... i really dun wanna hear wad "sacrifice" from u when u clearly are too lazy.. u say u dunno? then go learn.. isit so hard? U think i in poly learn math ar? I teach and recap la.. Srsly so much incompetence .. not too much to ask... yeah is not much.. i dun mind... but hor.. isit too much for you to contribute? Paying for tuition fees is bull of an excuse to me.. money =/= effort/ contribution...

Ok rant over :D

Now..to..the...happy....Hmm.. no happy things to post...Lol...eh who reads my blog ar.. i wanna know.. i only assume its zazz, veron and shihui cus at least i know whether or not i can do this like.. "message" thing..like wad i'm doing now

LOL PAISEH FOR NOT REPLYING.. i know i spoil the...chat? I know that if i reply at that time...the chat would continue rather than 5 hours late and have it cut off at a...awkward spot.. lol.. am i making sense? :( paiseh XD

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I knew wad u were feeling from the start and :D .. glad ur opening up more..the rest of wad i'm gonna say.. i'm sure u can predict.. starts with C .. and.. yeah.. sometimes wad u think others are thinking.. really isnt wad they are...BLEHHH LALALALAL LBYE!!!!!!!

2011-07-02T01:11:00.004+08:00

Here's a rant again..WUU!! So anyway.. back story is.. I woke up late and so i didnt go for my jap tutorial cus like... no point.. late le..so instead of leaving the hse at 8 smth.. i left at 10 ++ after jap lesson to meet frens in school..so going leave soon, i had convo with mom... and now.. this is where i rant..

She nagged at me abt not going school cus i late.. which fine... i admit i was wrong.. but then she went on about the REASONS to why ... and obviously.. we all know.. GAMES!! wuus.. and for some reason.. i feel pissed.. and no.. its not bcus i really was doing work last night and she didnt know.. but because she doesnt know how useless her words ar..its like..who on earth does she think she is talking to? I've been born into this world for like 18 years and yet she doesnt know who I am as a person? Heck.. why is it no one in my family knows me as a person.. my characteristics, my mentality...why? Am i that hard of a nut to crack.. cus honestly i dun think so..Its like.. if she knew how i thought abt things.. she shud know that her words are meaningless to me cus..I KNOW! like god.. the amount of pressure and stress that i put on myself every single day due to my procrastinating nature is like 10x more scarier than the amount she could invoke through those mere words of hers.. and its like.. cant u do smth else other than make that 10folds into 11?

And shes like.. "i see u everytime playing"...THATS WHO I AM!.. damn it.. i know i know.. LOUIS ITS AN EXCUSE.. honestly.. i dun care if it is... if its an excuse so be it.. i shall tell u my EXCUSE..heres the thing my wonderful reader... I HATE STUDYING.. i have mentioned in countless posts that i hate it.. HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE...and like.. it pisses me off whenever she says "He/she is not the study type".. whenever intellect is measured...i really dunno why she defends others and not me when it comes to this aspect..my intellect ( yes i sound braggish dun rub it in =.= ) does not guage my ability in doing work.. its just my brain that understands, reads and memorise things faster than most ppl ( i think la.. or maybe i understand well i dunno ) I talk abt my nursary fren whom is now in my tennis claz ( sudden ) .. i say he most likely NA/NT... she say .. he not the study type... My sister do horribly for math and all that.. she say she not the study type.. wtf? Thats not a reason...I'm also not the study type.. but why can I get into express... why can i solve math questions .. maybe its just cus i want to be praised.. but honestly.. it pisses me off.. its like.. the more i do well.. the more i am seen as some1 who is SUPPOSED to be hard working and do well...I DUN WANT THAT.. u are all setting retarded views/aims for this illusion u have of me.. THATS NOT ME!.. god =.=.. and there i am.. having to hear ur crap abt how i am not working hard all because u THINK i am some1 who shud/will...Why not.. Why not ar... u ask ur daughter to show better grades? She is the hardworking type... gosh=.=

Ok ! anyway .. done with that "little" rant... i kinda dunno wad to talk abt now...

Anyway i went out with zazz and veron today to watch transformers.. and .. meow~ i dun wanna go into specific stuff abt wad we did but simply put it... movie - chat - home :D But .. hmm the girls were kinda talking alot abt their stuff and.. although they told me to talk abt my stuff.. i kinda had nth... SORRY!!.. shall try and say some stuff here since.. yeah...

ok.. so.. i told u guys that i get jealous when i see other dudes with big arms.. well..i dun think i'm clear.. lol... its not the arms.. as in in the whole.. the proportion of it all LOL.. sounds weird but just wanna be clear that its not some weird arm fetish thing LOL cus like.. dunno le.. i find they so lucky got nice body i jealous :(.. i wan be model also cannot cus too skinny due to retarded genes :( yucks...

Hmm.. just now the hair thing...uhh..it kinda made me realise why i dye my hair alot... ok wait stop from here first.. my sister came in and now i'm pissed..

As a gamer and some1 who totally cant multi task.. i often cant feel the vibrations of a phone.. let alone focus on a conversation... and u know.. its like.. she LOVES coming in to ask me shit which i often try my best to entertain and just now .. she came in with that wtf attitude asking me why i didnt say it was me when she asked me abt the oatmeal scrub.. ok background check.. i've been using oatmeal to cleanse my face.. ANYWAY back to it.. its like... OBVIOUSLY she "asked" me.. when i was playing a game...haven she learnt by now that i cant focus on her words when i'm playing? Like get a clue .. i know.. its partly my fault for playing very often and having fucked up multi tasking skills.. but cant u adapt to my characteristics? I say Uh and yeahs to everything cus .. face it .. almost every thing u ASK ( not tell) is impt... does it make u look fat... is it nice... is it too big... are u slimmer.. srsly... retarded questions.. i say yes u dun believe.. i say no.. u angry.. so best... Uh .. yeah.. dun care just say ..so yeah.. hating the words " i ask u that day...".. cannot stand it cus often than not.. i never hear at all =.=...dun worry.. like mother like daughter.. :D... i really want to go up to them and say.. I TOLD U THAT DAY ... only to hear them say NEVER LEH.. and get a kick out of it ..

ok back to things..i dye my hair cus i hate my hairstyle.. its like..the one feature abt myself that i hate... I hate styling my hair and want it to look nice un-gelled.. so yeah...i dye it cus i cant have a good hair cut haha was kinda disappointed when i saw.. THE HAIR just now at GV .. cus it was styled ... damn :(...WHY MY HAIR LIKE SHIT LOL

Uhh.. wad else...Oh ya.. just now when i say .. if i read into things too much tell me.. i meant it.. cus .. i kinda have a habit of doing that .. oh oh and i dun wish to sound smart whenever i give my suggestions and opinions when "those" problems surfaces

Wad else....ARGH I DUNNO! I DUN WANNA THINK! YUCKS!..I WAN A PULL UP BAR BUT IT COST $30++ #*)@*#@*)@ ok BYE :D HAHAHAHHAHA I WAN A NEW FACEBOOK PROFILE PIC CUS MY HAIR LOOKS LIKE SHIT!! JEN SHIHUI BREN...WHERE IS OUR PHOTOSHOOT PICS!! NEW PROFILE PIC NEEDEEEEDDDDDDDD

Ignore this emo-ish quote that i thought of that summed up wad i was thinking abt the whole journey home..

I guess for everything.. but there are somethings that I simply cant bring myself to.

2011-06-18T19:31:00.002+08:00

K so i was lazy yesterday Meow~...

Anyway a little rant 1st..Ok..i'm may be skinny but hey.. I'm surprised that till now u cant see that i hate hearing you say, " eat more eat more" .. sorry mommy .. i eat ok? I do eat but appearently the genes both of u gave me consist of that of "inability to get fat" and "ability to lose fat" .. and for your info.. i feel bad each time u tell me that.. i want too have a nice looking body also cannot sorry la.. u think only u wan meh? I train at home but all always wan come my room.. i lock door cus i dun wan u see me carry that retardedly light 6 kg weight and say eh why u train but nv grow.. CUS I CANT.. no fats to convert =.=..i'm losing weight each time i breathe which is retarded.

Ultimately, i think it is cus u are comparing me with those huge ass shiets...okok first thing.. my chest.. is like plates ok? Theirs is freaking bowls.. My stomach is maybe pebbles.. theirs is freaking stones.. my arm is maybe a hamster... theirs is freaking bowling balls.. u are comparing me with sucha longshot-ish person..WHYYYYY!? Hollyy crap

Ok i was abt to rant abt my mom being so irritating by being so fussy with food but watever.. another time..

Anyway flew off from Singapore at ard..4ish? ..reached bali at like 7 and i must say.. A n n o y e d... the customs took seriously forever .. you know why? the custom officers took their own sweet time to stamp ppl's card.. but if we want faster service.. we must pay $100k ( $15 singapore = 100k indo) PER PERSON to those roaming officers.. and i'm like wtf? wad kind of disgusting country is this.. how can u do that... like i dun care abt ur corruption.. the idea is not that different to that to anywhere else.. say singapore.. of course we have RULES telling us not to do this while there is none of that here.. but i mean if u can be the better person it would be ok right? pissed like srsly.. so disgusting la..

Anyway things go better after we left the customs at 8++ (yes ..1 hr ) the person who was gonna lead us to our villa was so nice.. reached here and was kinda disappointed at first.. cus it was smaller than i thought but still cool actually.. pool..jacuzzi ..meow.. nice......

Hmm Didnt really do much on the first day cus it was late.. we had dinner which was uber cheap considering that this is a hotel/villa then slept..

As for today.. we woke up early go to the beach to play some sports stuff.. we did four which were snockling , flying fish, parasailing and jet skiing..

We went parasailing first and it happened really fast .. one moment we were standing there.. next in gear.. and finally off the ground.. HOLY MACARONI!!.. it wasnt as high as it shud be but WUUUUUS. haha.. the only negative was that the thing wrapped around my leg was uncomfortable i mean.. think abt it.. the gravity pulls u down.. and so..the whole time i was trying to maintain half pull up position so that my nuts dun crack LOL

Next was jet skiing and i'm kinda evil.. i wanted to make the instructor fall lol.. but aiyo the waves were so strong that i kept flying over them and landing hard.. ouch.. so keep slow fast slow fast.. but very fun

Next was flying fish which was epic... we laid on this butterfly shaped thing ( why isit called fish? ) with our face facing the sky.. then we have to hold two bars and eventually when the boat goes fast enough.. we will take off and .. yeah.. vertical as if we are standing .. fun.. but me and my younger sis lucky.. had an additional thing cus i dunno.. maybe cus we went last.. we had banana boat.. cus the sides are like.. yeah banana.. then we like ridding horse grab hold then.. yeah lo.. ride back to shore .. so bummpy:(

Anyway after that we had dinner and had a short shopping spree before heading back to the hotel where, still in our wet pants, went swimming in our pool.. COLD!! MEOW!!! Then soaked in our jacuzzi.. HOT!! .. hahas..

Yeah thats abt it really.. sorry for the horrible structured post :X but yeahhhh

2011-06-12T04:22:00.002+08:00

You know.. I have tennis in 4 hrs.. and i still cant sleep.. and why is that? Its funny really.. i tried to do work.. and end up falling asleep.. so as u shud know.. when u fall asleep and wake up.. u should feel more awake.. so appearently.. i feel awake.. DAMN IT

HAHA.. i really am the king of a nation.. procrastiNATION hahas... I really cant help it..i just dont like doing work at all..and i guess this is wad my post will be revolving on today..

So yeah.. I hate studying.. doing work all that.. and yeah yeah i know i have to.. but i feel that i'm doing it for the wrong reasons now..Why am i saying this.. ok here it comes.. the rant .. HAIZZZZ louis ar louis.. blog = rant.. :(

I am not hard-working.. i was NEVER hard-working ok? I'm lazy..heck the LAZIEST among the three siblings and before any of u deny it.. let me put it this way.. i SHOULD BE the LAZIEST among them..

OK backstory.. my elder sis is currently the most hardworking of us all.. she works hard and does everything with heaps and heaps of effort.. however on the downside.. she spends alot on retarded products that i am never in approval of .. and by this i dont mean i tell her dont buy.. cus just to let u know i do tell her to buy it cus if i said no( which i ALWAYS i want to) , she will do several things.. she will give me a list of reasons why she "needs" this .. she will still go ahead and buy it ...and the worst of all , spam me with WHY!?.. so yeah.. elder sis

As for my younger sis.. she is SEEN as the laziest among all of us .. her education is getting from bad to worst and she will be LUCKY to get into NA stream.. she facebooks constantly, even during exam period( i do so too but.. will explain shit later) and worst of all, despite her education efforts and what not, she is also someone who buys rubbish.. not as much as my sis but hey :X

Ok now...i AM the laziest .. why i cant really explain it.. but anyway.. i procrastinate alot mainly because i am simply lazy.. and i cant help it.. i AM THIS WAY.. i AM LAZY.. ihate studying and i hate doing work.. so this is where i get frustrated..

Dont associate me as someone who is hardworking.. i am NOT hardworking AT ALL.. btw this is a rant towards my family..why am i ranting.. appearently.. whenever i say i'm procrastinating from work..i will hear either my mother or father or whoever say i'm GETTING lazy.. heres the thing.. I AM LAZY ..k i might be going mad at this point but hey.. i'm ranting... just cause i give u satisfying marks doesnt mean i was hardworking..i shall tell us straight-up and even though it puts me up as show off and braggy i shall say it.. i am smart ok? i'm a bright freaking lazy kid that hates doing work and throws EVERYTHING to the last min and still gives u a B grade-ish mark or more..

Here i am doing my best and squeezing every ounce of Hardworkingness out of my system and there u ALL are.. buying expensive shit, eating expensive shit and saying money isnt an issue...and i love whenever i say this.. a defensive stance comes up and they'll go .. UR ROOM ELECTRICITY BILL HIGHEST...well yeah.. i dont buy retarded silmling products that dont work as well as something called EXCERCISE.. i dont spam money on clothes and shoes cus i am happy with like 5 pairs of clothes and 1 pair of shoes ..gosh..

like.. srsly.. its this immaturity that scares me.. my future.. let alone theirs is already so hazy and i have to care abt this.. like.. srsly.. fine i wan restaurants too but dont go to those $40+ every week la.. cant we stick to the $10+? like.. my sisters are already a problem.. now singapore can gamble my parents give me more problem.. u all making me stress when i procrastinate.. like wtf.. i'm so lazy that i cant help procrastinating.. its like i HAVE TO.. argh..

bleh imma go sleep.. this is so fugly haha.. i'm not pissed btw.. just ranting haha...

2011-06-09T05:08:00.002+08:00

Hmm.. i dunno wad to say now.. have nothing but i feel like posting smth random..

Exams are over.. thats for one..uhh..i'm going bali on the 7th...Meow~.. i dunno.. i guess i just wanted to type some random lyrics..

You are beautiful..

For the thing you do...

You may not see it..

the way that we see you..

But if u trust in me..

we will make you see that you..

Are beautiful..

Lol..lala hmm.. now wad.. i dunno...

maybe i shud sleep... maybe i shuden... then again i shud...Hmmmmmm...ok nights LOL

2011-06-02T22:11:00.002+08:00

Today we had APEL class and... dun ask me why i am talking abt it but.. i just feel like posting stuff abt it :X

Anyway the question was something like.. which value do we value the most.. popularity, respect, progress or integrity..And yeah.. because i didnt get the chance to properly explain why i chose wad i did.. i decided to say it here..

I chose popularity.. and i know.. its kinda like self centered - ish and all that but hear me out yo.. I want to be popular amongst everyone as some1 who is willing to help..I'm not trying to show off or anything but to me.. i feel that i am some1 who cares for others more than myself..and i like that abt myself.. i love helping others and thats a fact.. i mean to a certain extend of course.. i dun mean it in a..gang fight help.. i mean like emotional and psychological help...

I wan people to know me this way and by being " popular" i dunno.. i guess people will come to me instead.. :X am i making sense..

Anyway he also asked us wad we would do to achieve popularity... if i could ans just now.. i would say, " i would be nice".. cus that pretty much it ... i dun wanna go around advertising myself.. sure i like to be remarked upon for any of my assistance..like if i help some1 .. i would love to have a thanks or.. good job.. i mean.. who wouldent.. face it.. as much as we sometimes say we dun mind not getting the attention for our kind acts, we would not mind having some..

So anyway.. my answer was i would not go against my morals.. then he asked.. would we backstab some1.. and this was where i think everyone misunderstood me.. i said.. " i could and i might" ..

Now before u all go WA LOUIS U SO BAD!.. i'm trying to say .. dun take me for granted or make use of me.. i dunno why but i felt agitated when i heard him say that... as u all know, when you are frens for so long.. u tend to forget how we should treat each other as human beings.. u know? respect each other? Think about it.. even for me.. i jokingly say vulgarities infront of my frens and AT my friends.. even if its a joke.. i am not respecting them in a sense.. so point is...I can treat you nice.. but.. if u take advantage of me.. i can also treat u horribly..

Wow.. i typed that out.. my teacher is really good at analysing me.. he said that i can be some1 who is extremely nice and yet extremely bad.. which .. well.. is true .. i mean look at the para abv :X..

O well.. thats all i guess.. i feel like i have more to type but nah.. i cant rmb wad i wanna say...

2011-05-25T02:50:00.002+08:00

Ok A long rant? Hahas..

First one is on school alright?

Ok now.. i saw my marks for a designing work thingy today...I Got a C... now, if it were my fault, i would usually blame myself for being a total idiot.. but this time.. no way.. after 4 weeks of work and by work i mean designing shit...they tell us that we need to Screenshot the work in a process form..meaning maybe take a screenshot after every step.. and i'm like.. shit? I've done so much shit already and now u tell me this? And thing is.. the teacher NEVER comments on our blogs to tell us anything and now he smiles when he gives me a C and Ds and Fs to everyone else? Its totally unfair and retarded.. And he still has the cheek to give us more assignments on that same day, telling us to complete them fast asap cause our MAIN assignment is due soon...wtf is wrong with this subject? You give us this MAIN assignment crap and many "tiny" other assignments to complete each week.. how the F do u think we can finish? Not to mention, now i have to redo all my pass weeks' work PLUS add in the new ones using the "new" format which btw is HECK OF A LONGER.. screenshots so many times =.= my desktop no space liao =.=

But haha on a funny side.. i raged infront of the teacher just now.. he TRIED so hard to talk to us..but seriously he is on the losing end.. and the moment he said "even I(the teacher) dunno this mark scheme" i srsly rage.. not in angry berserk mode la.. i'm not a total idiot.. he was trying to tell me that there are other methods to complete the work..all that.. but like.. i dun believe it.. no way man.. imagine a work with little pictures and one with more.. which will win.. like.. the one with more duh =.=.. and its like.. wad kind of responsibility is this man... anyway I straight up say "Cher i know .. even if there are other methods, its still unfair to us that we know all this last min.. then we need redo everything!" then i stomp out of the room LOLLOL... my frens all stun haha... but hey.. i very nice le lo... other ppl will scold scold.. i very sensible :D *praise self* XD k la next one :P

Next one is..well..family day..

You know..many of my frens might think that i am rich cus of the way i spend.. but honestly i am not.. sure i maybe slightly more well off.. but.. to be frank.. i really dun count myself as a goldmine spender ... wait till u see my family members...

Anyway.. having met my frens in secondary.. i guess i begin to dislike my family spending so much.. tbh i always disliked it but thru my frens i disliked it more..not blaming them.. it was ALWAYS in me but.. its like a catalyse :P

Anyway..a few weeks ago on family day.. i got pissed again cus of this.. we ate korean and they were so picky.. i mean comeon.. even though i'm picky too, i try to get wad i eat .. like last time fish and chips got beans.. i now beginning us for NO BEANS! :D.. anyway i was pissed.. my face was as black as a N**** .. wad.. ninja man ninja :D .. so anyway its funny.. usually when ppl see u like that..its like a HUGE caution on the head .. DUN DISTURB!!!!!.. but No.. my sister had to constantly ask me why i like bad mood .. and like.. i cant say that i hate how they spend in my face.. cus she.. being how she is.. will ALWAYS bring up stuff that somehow have a slight contradicatory factor to it.. like she will say.. THEN U BUY THOSE MOISTURISER FOR YOURSELF $30!.. and like.. shit son... u buy $80 worth.. but yet she will somehow argue her way to "victory" .. anyway thats not the point.. i tried to be nice.. and give her hints by replying short and "annoyed sounding" answers.. SHE DIDNT GET IT! .. gosh.. in the end she got pissed and shouted at me in public =.=.. and i'm like still dao-ing her despite that.. seriously.. its madness.. u might be thinking.. THEN WHY DONT U TELL HER U ARE NOT IN A GOOD MOOD LOUIS!? .. 1) when u are in a bad mood.. do u straight up tell ? at most 20% of the time.. i was in the 80% state... 2) MOST OF THE TIME U JUST GIVE ANNOYED ANS COMEON!..

Yeah..and she tells my mom about me being angry..heng its one of those days where my mom TRIES to talk to me.. otherwise she'll say its my games making me more violent bla bla and will make me more pissed... i'll say one thing .. i'm not violent.. as much as i can punch them lifeless and i thought about it.. more of me is sensible and more mature then they expect .. tbh .. i feel that i am the most mature amongst my sisters...i cant explain why.. cus it'll be too hard to explain and too long.. but yeah.. its just my opinion..

Haiz.. reading thru it made me realise why i have a slight dislike for my sisters... its like.. they give me more pressure..My elder sis now looking for job.. so ok la... but i see her spend.. i very pek chek.. its like.. i'll often hear her say "WA MOMMY THIS THIS THAT THAT SO CHEAP LEH ONLY $100+ .." and i'm like... wtf.....and my mom will agree and i will further WTF...then my younger sister... her education.. haiz... i see also pek chek..now my mom asking me and my elder sis teach her.. and analysing the thing... it would take loads of luck for her just to get into NA..and she now become materialistic also..gg more money lo..

darn..like my sisters.. i hate studying..like SERIOUSLY HATE to the core.. but yet seeing them i have to work hard..even though i procrastinate to the last min.. i really never stop trying.. every time i play.. my mind is focused on work.. i can never enjoy..its so frustrating cause i know if i fail...cannot depend on anyone else le...then that day family day..i dunno why i so weird stand beside my dad ask him stand at mirror .. i'm nearly as tall as him.. gosh.. last time he so much taller its like.. time goes by so fast.. soon he has to retire.. then financial how? Only kao me le mah...i want my family to enjoy life .. and not "fake" enjoy like me.. play game then think about their children.. i dun wan.. i wan them sit down or lie down watch tv.. talk to each other and like.. happy la..

Why am i surrounded my incompetence.. my teacher cant tell me shit properly.. my marks will drop cus of him.. and if i cant get into SG uni.. i nid go other country.. then pay more... not only that.. my sisters must add on more crap.. one spends .. one study CMI..

That day go school..whole journey on bus keep hearing a kid cry " I DONT WANT GO SCHOOL" and i'm like.. shit son.. i dont wanna go school either but grow up .. u cant live off ur parents forever.. of course i didnt say that to him la.. but i was thinking that lol.. how i wish i can say this to my younger sister...but she wont listen.. she's too pampered and too immature..

I guess i'm abit lucky too..because i know how my elder sister is doing.. i feel that i matured fast at a younger age.. while ppl were thinking of pokemon cards and wad cartoon they were going to watch.. i was busy analysing who can lead the family or smth like that..then make me "work" hard.. i dunno la.. smth like that.. on the other hand.. my younger sister is "against" me.. and like.. i dunno la.. i feel that she has the thought that i will "lead" this family and so she dunnid study so hard.. gosh how i wish i can slap her and tell her to grow up...o well..

Right.. thats a long rant.. imma go slp.. i really gotta do work..PROCRASTINATIONS A BITCH!

2011-05-12T23:07:00.000+08:00

Here comes a rant...

I srsly hate how i suck at the things i love to do...why i'm ranting about this? Cause i am almost 100% not in squash team.. why.. well.. just like in any other racket game.. my strokes were horrible .. Thats the thing.. my strokes are ALWAYS HORRIBLE.. i dunno why.. but when i play, i can win.. i dun get it really.. why do i suck so bad.. its like i'm always missing a certain elements.. Lets go down an awesome list shall we?

Singing - I know the range, i can reach all of them.. but my voice is fucking disgusting..why did my body get confused whether to break voice or not.. cause now i'm stuck in the middle.. a retard half female half male voice.. sure i can reach notes easily.. but it sounds disgusting

Dancing - Yes i can dance.. i can remember steps DAMN easily and do each move with loads of confidence and power.. but my body proportions is just not right, making me look awekward when i dance...

Racket game - be it tennis , squash or badminton , i can win.. i can play quite well.. but the thing is.. i NEVER have good strokes.. i really dunno why.. maybe cus my imagination allows me to come up with funky moves that allows me to hit the ball to unpredictable places... another factor is my speed...i'm..QUITE fast :X

Running - Yes i did say i'm QUITE fast.. not VERY but quite.. but thing is.. i have shit stamina.. its retarded like really.. in tennis class , the youngest of children can run longer than me...

Its kinda annoying reading this.. i'm always missing out on a certain element and this frustrates me...i can think of more random ones like gaming? I can play quite well but i panic each time i play with frens... Work? I can do good work but i procrastinate like mad..

Seriously pissed off LOL :X

"Jiayou... Lets work hard yo :D.. i'm gonna conquer wadever shitty missing elements i have you gotta work hard on.. watever u have to too :D And..You are not asses.. well.. not all of us are.. we are dumb though.. sometimes we just dunno that a small action can cause a huge amount of distress.. its weird...even for me who analyse stuff alot.. i cant full comprehand whether or not i hurt you guys.. i do make guesses every now and then that i did.. but.. we know each other.. we'll deny it .. so yes..we are dumb... we dunno..some of us do care.. but others... meh...:X "

2011-05-11T14:13:00.002+08:00

I swear to god.. my in3d class is the most fucked up class ever =.=

Its like.. we have an assignment right? but yet every single fucking day we have to upload shit work that is so fucking hard to do.. they give retardedly difficult to understand PDF files that totally confuses the shit out of me .. and worst of all.. its graded too

now.. wads wrong with this picture..

1).. if we have a fucking assignment.. why give us these fucked up "mini" work that is ALSO graded.. how on earth do they want us to complete this shit?

2)Why cant they give us a video of how to do the work? PDF is all words .. wad add the top layer to the 2nd squares layer on the top side near the right side.. Wad the fuck? ( please note i made up the phrase ) So far.. only the videos are shits that i can actually complete.. as for the PDF files? all and i mean ALL of it, i cheated and just ignore the instructions and try my best to duplicate the needed outcome..

Its retarded and fucked up..like seriously.. and now.. the teacher.. seriously pissing me off all the time =.=... He walks around and waits for us ask questions... Now .. for me .. i hate this... why cant he take initiative and check if we can do our work? Nevermind.. i finally asked him how to do .. and all he did was ask me to redo and check if lets say i followed the instructions properly .. like wtf? I did it like... 9 times.. and seriously i followed it till i memorised the words and steps already ... and ..WHY THE FUCKING HELL WOULD I ASK U IF I DIDNT KNOW WAD TO DO...its like.. obviously i would ask if i REALLY dunno how to do right =.=...Yes i'm a stupid fucker that doesnt know how to do these types of designing stuff then too bad for me la..dao mei come this course... so many retarded people that piss me off...Ask for help they ask me ask fren ....ask for help they tell me see steps again...Thanks for the help.. as if i cant do that on my own =.=.. wads the point of being a teacher if u cant do the simplest task of teaching your students... Fucked up seriously.. I really cant stand such incompetence.. yes i'm incompetent and fucking stupid for not knowing how to do this designing work.. but isnt it ur job to help me then?

Retards ... Waste my time and effort... How to get my 3.5Gpa ? Have to deal with these people.... So far i only have like... 2 good teachers since my time here in TP... really man.. adults these days ...

Bleh.. on the bright side, i've got into squash final trials :D.. yayyyyy but i didnt get into tennis :(

Meow~ Now in lab .. suppose do work.. but fucking hell its two PDF files again.. and the phrasing is so horrible.. i really dunno wad the teachers are thinking.. and leave give MORE and CLEARER pictures of the steps ... think we wad? Genius?

Great pissed off again... Meh... will be done in like 1 hr so for now.. screw this assignment...aiming for B only ..yes i know.. surprised? Me too but this subject really cannot A de.. too much retardations here. :X wow long post.. ok time to go my classmates are back .. Meow~ :X

2011-05-10T23:48:00.003+08:00

Bleh.. gonna buy that 10kg weights myself...Why so sudden? cause my mom keep saying dont buy cus she never see me use the 6kg weights that i have now.. but thing is .. i'm the type that dun wanna reveal too much..and like i always lock the door so that i can.. u know .. do my stuff...but gosh =.= but i dunno why but it seems like EVERY SINGLE TIME i wanna start doing my workout...they keep coming in..and of course.. i locked the door then they'll be like.. LOUIS WAD U DOING AR ?! =.=...its annoying and frustrating..cus most of the time when i feel like doing it.. their at home i dunno why...i'm too lazy to work out when their out ...its BLEH!

Ok anyway...today i skipped class :D YAY! cause the competition i am in allows me to go for this competition viewing thingy conference bleh :X ...and like.. yeah we went and it was quite fun and cool.. had loads of laughs and jokes ..." watched" the 4 teams present ...by watched.. i was playing games on my lappy LOL...all i know is tp won for their idea of helping stroke patients via kinect :X

Yeah.. i dunno why i'm posting.. really have nothing..the weights are like beside me but i'm not gonna try to work out again ... gosh...really annoying =.=...

Like last time.. my sister went to USA for 1 month..ALMOST EVERYDAY call home.. SOOO ANNOYING... like.. whats the point of saying bye bye if ur gonna call everyday...look at me? i went to hainan for a week and only msg once when i reached and once when i'm going back...

Same for here.. i RARELY go to my sister's room and mom's room..but everyday.. they never fail to come in to interupt me...meow~! I know i'm suppose to appreciate my family now before its too late.. but..honestly.. its annoying..

2011-05-10T01:54:00.004+08:00

Meow~...My birthday just ended..felt like another normal day to me honestly..

I know i'm being an ass by saying this but.. i was treated like normal..I'd thought it would be a special day for me .. to like.. not do work but o well..

You know.. many times, despite some of my friends being embarassed when doing stuff like these, i find myself wishing i would be surprised.. like.. i would be so happy to see my friends bring in a cake and singing happy birthday song to me...even if people stare at me .. i would be happy..I guess thats why i get annoyed when i hear my friends say stuff like " dont wan la .. so diu lian" ..

But of course.. it'll hardly happen cus.. i'm an asscrack that always predict these stuff...i cant help it.. like yesterday when my sister hid her present in the fridge , disguising it to look like a cake..i had to ruin both our fun by analysing her tone, her choice of words and actions to figure out that she wanted to show me the present...

The plan was that she pretended she was mad at me for getting two cakes and asked me to go see .. but darn me.. i already knew the plan by then..and as much as i pretended to be blur by looking at the big box first which was clearly the real cake, the excitement was lost..

And thats not all.. even the candles of the cake... i had to analyse each candle.. why? I dunno.. and yes she swapped some of the real candles with relightable ones... and.. i guessed it.. spoiling the fun again lol..

so yeah.. and by now... my friends who are reading this might be annoyed with me... cause.. yeah...i cant help it..

Bleh.. anyway i dunno why i've been in the habit of posting very often...maybe cause its easier for one of my close fren to "communicate" with me.. so yeah :X

Anyway i really gotta do some stuff..

1) clear my room.. I FAILED TO DO SO IN THE HOLI!!!!

2) Check my tennis results.. it was out last week but.. lazy me :X

3) buy my 10kg weights.. srsly.. my mom keeps saying dont buy cus its too heavy.. and i'm like...Seriously? Meow~

And ARGH I KEEP USING MEOW~... lol...I BLAME YOU!! :P u know who u are ~ :P

Anyway imma go sleepy sleep..its like 2:07...gotta rush assignment tomorrow RWAR!

"Thanks for the wishes, and its never too early.. after all its just a number right? :D"

2011-05-08T17:25:00.002+08:00

Me Me Me... can stand people thinking that the world revolves around them..

I can take a hint.. srsly.. u tell me ur pissed, i'll back away and leave u be... u glare at me i will stop asking whether you are all right and back away..Why cant u do the same for me? Is it so hard? Its stupid how i'm getting annoyed by so many things today...

2011-05-08T12:34:00.003+08:00

I was supposed to be happy now but after reading all the facebook shit about politics..all i can say is..

WHO GIVES A FUCK!? my god.. so many post on politics and i'm like wtf? Do u know what happens inside? Do u know the political mind fucks they do to the opposition team and all that?

No u dont =.=... all u know and care about is the god damn results ... Its so infuriating to see people type so much crap about the different parties when they dun even know nuts about politics..i mean srsly.. if u knew politics u should be a politician ..

Like dude.. dun act smart talk so much crap..ultimately all u know is who won and who lost THATS IT.. u dunno the situation they were in.. u dunno how much trouble and effort they all put in so stfu. EVEN I DUNNO NUTS.. comeon man..

If your so god damn smart.. go get a high gpa for me=.=... dun waste ur effort trying to understand shit that u cant comprehand..thats the problem with singaporeans.. we are too kiasu..complain alot.. talk alot.. but when nid do something.. silent...so ai zai? GO CREATE SOME FUCKING PARTY AND PAY LIKE DUNNO HOW MANY K OF MONEY AND RUN LO...

Its all about Singapore.. i dun give nuts about who win and who loses.. isnt the goal just to make singapore a better place? U wan pap to lose ? fine so be it.. why need to diss them ? Remember that they DID do shit for our country to begin with.. or have we all forgotten everything they did.. sure its frustrating now.. with the stupid pay and pay...so be it la.. vote for some other party.. but dun diss them =.= Until they throw bombs at ur face...stfu

2011-05-08T01:37:00.000+08:00

Thanks zazz for telling me i post twice.. why am i posting here? Cus...Well.. i didnt see ur message till 2 hrs later and its like.. 1am ++? so i scared msg wake u up...:X

2011-05-07T22:35:00.003+08:00

Hmm.. i dunno why..but i was randomly thinking about how my life could progress..it was just uber random seeing that i was in the bus..

I'm like..18 soon and like.. i'm still young..sort of eh :P but i dunno i starting thinking abt life and death.. like.. my mom and dad aint young and u know.. at any time..*fly fly*... its so weird..and then i realise that i really dislike them for constantly reminding us how they'll *ahem* .. saying wad...who take wad ..and how we need job before they *ahem*.. its so tootish.. i mean.. i'm still young yo.. i dun wanna think abt losing my parents at sucha young age...

Anyway..after those random thoughts.. i started thinking about wedding...how i'll totally NOT do those retarded games to get my bride...and MAINLY.. random thoughts of me singing "mama's song" by carrie underwood to my mom and dad...it was weird thinking abt it but i feel happy haha..

I'm some weird kid eh?

2011-05-05T20:46:00.004+08:00

Back from tennis trials.. and i must say .. i highly doubt i will get in.. but hey ..i really saw a huge improvement as compared to last year and am quite pleased with it.. but hey.. guess i aint cut out for tennis

Anyway just a sudden thought.. i realise that the nicest of people doesnt have to be the one who cares for you the most..now before any of u start judging .. this is just a random thought cus i realise.. despite hearing them say that they dun care..i feel that they do.. if like i was reallly really sad...they will give a shit about me and like.. try to cheer me up even if its in an insultive manner..

Just a random thought...

ANYWAY! i have jap tomorrow and am EXCITED FOR IT...also there is that tennis results thing.. but meh.. dun give a shit cus i highly doubt i'd get in.. didnt stand out enuf ..(looks at hair)... SKILL WISE! LOL ..

Alrighty am gonna go slack...:D cheerio :D

oh ya.. i keep using meow~... i blame zazz for this... LOL

2011-05-04T23:12:00.003+08:00

Wow.. 2nd week of school and so much work.. gosh.. hating this..

Anyway just got back from squash trials and i must say.. I AM OUT OF SHAPE! ..just like 15 sec of sprinting and my thigh was like.. close to cramping.. maybe its cus i didnt eat dinner but hey.. :P

Anyway.. am hoping so badly to get into tennis.. soooo badly ... but hmm i dunno wish me luck..

Anyway a random thought.. u know how u sometimes have loads to say .. negative things maybe.. and all of a sudden one happy incident occured making u unwilling to post all those negative stuff... i kinda wish i can blog outside...haha.. sometimes wan rant but then suddenly happy then dun wan rant le :X.. I WAN RANT!!!

Hmm.. yeah.. i dunno why i'm posting again.. am trying to get into the habit...

Oh side note.. the mosquito bites i got from jennifer's house the other day.. ARE STILL HERE! argh... i had clear spotless legs.. i mean there's hair but... SPOTLESS... now.. 30+ mosquito bites all over...NOOOOOOO

What other random stuff .. hmm...

Oh ya.. I WAN 3.5 GPA! RWAR OK BYE :D

2011-05-04T13:10:00.000+08:00

Woots.. i'm in the lab now posting... WEEEEEEEE so random...

Gosh i'm having squash later and i swear to god i am so nervous.. its sucha last min decision to go for squash trials today cus initially its on friday :X .. in my jeans.. and my normal T-shirt.. tell me how am i gonna do nuts? O well.. we'll just have to see :D

2011-05-03T22:15:00.003+08:00

In life, even the most insignificant action can cause so much emotional distress to someone... A wink, a sentence, a hint, etc...At times, it might seem like it is nothing but that might not be the case...

Or isit just me...

2011-05-01T23:55:00.003+08:00

You know that ANNOYING feeling.. when u have SOO MUCH u wanna write.. but realise u cant because people read your blog/facebook status/twitter bla bla.. Hate it LOL

O well.. i realise that i've failed in changing my blog skin..AGAIN.. lol.. also i kinda deleted most of the recordings i did when my family were out.. i just cant bring myself to post vids of me singing on facebook..i wanna know the truth but .. u know how the truth always hurts right? yeah...

O well.. tuesday is tennis trials and i'm kinda nervous for it.. injured my hand during the trip to hainan and it hasn't cured till now.. YUCKS! ...

fine imma go.. its late and i've a practice game with Wei Jie tomorrow :D.. so chao :D

2011-04-20T22:58:00.002+08:00

I just realise.. i didnt post nuts here for so long...

I kinda have nth much to talk about really..Nth much really..i realise that i use this blog only for rants and well... i'm kinda happy now...

Cant wait to see my timetable this friday.. darn i dun wan a shitty time table but hmm.. lets hope alright?

k imma go.. hope smth shitty happens so i can rant here muahahah

2011-04-06T00:13:00.002+08:00

Life is really too unpredictable ...

Will be going to Hainan for a week and ... well .. now I am safe and sound in Singapore.. but who knows... A tsunami might hit Hainan tomorrow (choy) ...Anyway..I dunno.. I pray nothing happens...

Shall cut things short by saying Love all mah frens yo :D

2011-03-31T12:40:00.002+08:00

I'm gonna be late for my meeting but.. haha screw that :D You know... sometimes in life..even when all the info or clues are smacked straight in your face...you'll still fail to solve the issue... like a detective.. for a first timer...even when clues are there...you might tend to be nervous in solving the issue.. why? Because your scared to be wrong..I guess thats why we sometimes choose to hide our answers so as escape this judgement.. OH CRAP REALLY LATE ARGH MEETING AT ONE STILL AT HOME HAVEN BRUSH TEETH! WHY AM I EVEN TYPING ALL THIS IN CAPS I SHOULD JUST POST! ARGH STILL TYPING! HAHAHA... Just a random post that i felt like typing :P

2011-03-23T22:56:00.002+08:00

Two seperate things that I feel like talking about today.

First :

You know.. often things happen...and friends get mad at each other...and if anyone knows me.. i simply choose to like.. not fight back but ignore.. i'm kinda getting pissed with myself for that..i'm not mad at anyone now.. but i just suddenly recalled this trait and it got me thinking...Thing is.. if i'm mad at some1 and we get into a heated argument.. I know i'd lose...cause i don't know why but the rule of "not interupting others when they are speaking" seems to be the number rule whenever i am arguing with some1..which is SUPPOSED to be like the LAST rule ...so you'll see me waiting for them to finish before i speak.. but as we all know.. when arguing.. 2 things are occuring

1) constant talking

2) constant interupting of speech..

So yes.. i will have some1 outtalking me while i wait.. And part of me now finds it a rather annoying fact about myself as.. i cant defend myself nor argue back for nuts... another part finds it hilarious as..if i recall correctly.. all i can do is stun there or walk away.. and face it.. both of it is simply a lost :X..

And this is where i started thinking...wow...people who fight with their fist are probably just the same.. cause face it.. in a heated argument.. one punch and i'd win ..the only way i can win..even in a argument.. the first thing that comes to my mind is to smack the person cause.. i know i cant argue nor fight back with words..but of course.. i wont do that...i've always "laughed" at those kids who fight back against those bullies in school.. cause.. they're always the ones who gets into trouble.. not the bullies.. its weird .. i feel that its great that they stick up for themselves but.. in the end they still get into huge shit like getting their ass suspended from school..

bullies ar bullies.. why u all so lucky...you guys are actually the weaklings but yet we get bullied by you.. for what ar? cause we want to succeed in life duh...and we cant do that if we get expelled now will we... rofl just a random thought here :P

Second :

I HATE being the leader... but even though i aint assigned the role, i have to be one or at least act like one.... ShiHui would best understand this...except she is competent while.. i'm not Haha...

Ok but that aside.. i cant stand it when shit is thrown at me without the least bit of effort being done to it before thrown..as in... THINK for like 5 sec on how to handle the problem ...dont keep asking me man...

and like...once u become a leader and do an "ok" job.. ppl associate u as one.. like Louis = leader.. WHY!? DONT! .. and then when i do a bad job..i get "Shot" saying i'm a bad leader when in reality.. i was not the leader in the 1st place.. am i making sense?

BLEH.. anyway i'm kinda in the bleh bleh mood... nothing really going on lately...a few annoying stuff here and there but nth that really got me ranting like OMG :D... i still wanna change my blogskin but mannnnnn i'm procrastinating again! ...

Cleared 1/10 of my room yesterday so happy :D muahhaha 2 full plastic bags of crap thrown :D .. omg.. means... 1 unit = 2... 10 unit = 20... 10 - 1 = 9 unit.... 9 unit = 20 - 2 ... 18 PLASTIC BAGS MORE !? omg... waste lol ok bye bye

2011-03-18T20:22:00.002+08:00

Age does not define intellect not maturity .. in my opinion at least..

Its another ranting post so please don't mind me.. if u cant stand rants and/or brags then please press the 'X' for this might be very self-praising and thus, annoying.

Sometimes if might seem that i want people to be like me... or at least a bit more like me.. not the bad parts abt me which includes procrastination and constant ranting and all that .. but the positives..

I'm one to listen .. if a comment is meaningful, i will listen and change myself to be someone better..and this is where my rant starts...i cant stand people who dont bother to listen to meaningful advices...the only advice i ignore are those that are meaningless or colide with my other ideas and thus making me not able to heed them...so when some1 ignores my advices...i get pissed...because.. unless u have some inner ideal that colides with this advice .. i cant do anything.. because u believe in wad u want to believe in and i cant change that nor should u change urself to fit this advice given and end up having a colition with this ideal u follow truely..and thing is.. i sensitive in what i say.. i dont randomly throw shit advices unless its meant to be a joke....so by ignoring... it says that my advices are meaningless to u.. and by meaningless.. u treat it like a joke despite my srs face...

ok i kinda lost my reasoning of typing this post.. i know i'm pissed but bleh.. i'll just cut it off here..but all i know is...teaching is not teaching YOUR own methods...even i wont understand what your teaching if u made me learn it your way.. i NEVER write notes...and it says something if i have no idea what your teaching despit it being primary school work

2011-03-12T23:53:00.002+08:00

Ho.. Ho...Ho...Yes santa is here .. to give out the "LOUIS IS FCKING PISSED OFF AGAIN" Post :D

Ok...u know even if i hated some1, i would always try to keep it to myself.. why? I know everyone has feelings ok.. i wont go abt trying to insult or pull some1 down just cus i dispised that person..

And u know.. its VERY .. and i mean VERY easy to just insult some1...no joke.. REALLY simple...
"Wah *name* is sucha ....."

Piece of cake..

But even for THAT person.. i am willingly to go to greater pains just to ensure that the person does not know i am talking about him or her...u know wad i mean right? I'll reconstruct my entire sentence.. even this post.. i reconstructed EVERYTHING just for a person... u know why? I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HOW THEY FEEL...i can easily go about saying *name* is a fcker...but i wont.. eventthough i know that the person doesnt read my blog .. i will still do it.. why ar louis?

Very frustrated...even to people i dislike..I still care... wads shits man? You know.. people assume that i'm trying to avoid conflict .. trying to hide from troubles cause i'm a wuss .. but its totally different...I know its lame to say i've learn martial arts because in reality .. most of those is crap..but in all honestly.. i wont lose in a fist fight..eventhough i've never fought before except for during sparring sessions.. i know i wont lose ..(of course to those i know la.. cause i've pretty much guage who can do shit to me and who cant.. and i must say i'm pretty much safe :P )

But its TOTALLY different man...i try to avoid conflict not cause i'm scared..but because i dont see the reason to...Why should i get myself into a fist fight ? Law .. parents.. no thanks ..its not worth the time and effort...why should i hurt your feelings? I wont be any better than a jerk.. a bully..

But ur thinking.. then how can i change and be a better person... in all honesty...will anyone give a shit? If i straight up insult u.. 99% you'll hate me ... you'll defend yourself or you'll say stuff like ," THEN YOU LEH?" ... Theres no point... i'd rather keep it to myself and let you stay happy...

Haiz.. even to foes.. i'm too nice .. wth is wrong with the picture man..

And now.. the whole insulting me portion... i'm frustrated..I've loads to say... minor and major issues...but i hold them back..just to ensure we're all "happy" but yet i've to deal with *beep* people .. who don't see things the way i do..

Yes.. we have different views.. but seriously.. HOW CAN PEOPLE BE SO FCKING INSENSITIVE ... like.. man.. seriously? Even if its a minor insult .. i'm willingly to hold it in.. FOR YOU.. why on earth do i have to hold it in while u get away with a direct insult to me..Why do i still continue to care for you like some brother while i get smacked across the face with insults like a fcking dog? its retarded

You know.. this post COULD be made longer.. but if i do so.. my brain will burst from thinking of methods to rephrase my "direct insults" ... please dun assume who i'm talking about.. although it was supposedly meant for someone.. it aint anymore.. its a general thing.. PLUS the someone doesnt read my blog nor knows my URL so chill..

Anyway.. i've been wanting to change blog skins but as of now.. i think the default templates are still the best and easiest to use.. so ... will be changing to another one soon..blue is just.. bleh...unless if its on my hair :P but YUCKS..so little blue and silver. :( i think i might go for a retouchup but.. bleh.. we'll see... anyway .. imma gtg have tennis tomorrow :D

PS.. please include ur name when asking me a question on formspring.. although.. no 1 really asks me anything LOL no question till date.. guess not many people read my blogs but o well :D ranting purposes and updates only :P

2011-03-03T05:41:00.002+08:00

Its 5:40am and i cant sleep... so i guess i shall post...

Gonna do my hair on monday :D I kinda have no idea wad colour i'm gonna dye it this time.. i dun wanna damage it cus i miss my smooth hair XD but at the same time.. why not right? after all this might be my last year being able to have loud coloured hair... o well.. blue ? XD

I kinda dun really have much to say.. been slacking and playing practically everyday which is .. kinda boring XD .. wad can i say .. when u are bored u know its holiday hahas

Anyway, just recently .. ok actually i've known for a long time but...yeah shall just say that.. sometimes its so annoying to not rant... people may think that i rant alot but i feel bad to say that its not even half of wad i wanna rant... there are so many things in this world that urks me... i dun hate my life but i have this annoying feature about me that wants things to be a certain way...or something like that... i'm not an asshole 1stly... i know right now i sound like 1 but its just hard to express it properly with words...

Anyway the point isnt about my distaste for many things... but rather...sometimes people say smth as a joke..right.. sure i may get insulted but i know its a joke so i woulden't bother... and soon it becomes the NORM.. people start to constantly refer me as something that the joke chooses to impose on me...And i still know its a joke but as it progresses it really gets irritateable...and finally i choose to tell them off... but thing is.. it always turns out two different ways... one is that they apologise and stop for only awhile but continue soon after because it has already became a habit...and another is that they will THINK that this joke implication on me is reality .. and they will go on and on about it... which is really annoying to me...

But then again even if i tried to stop this from happening at the start.. people say i'm too sensitive...YES i'm OVERLY sensitive.. we get it.. i know we all know... and now its a joke to others too that i'm this way...i dunno.. its just frustrating to me.. there are already so many things that urk me and yet i have to bear with this too...its like...

ok imagine this... a feather to u is like a rock to me... so...a rock to u will be ...HOLY CRAP... so yeah... i am petty and such and being so wad might seem small to u is in fact huge to me.. to add on.. i have loads of YOUR feathers...am i making sense? LOL

O well...before readers start going louis quit ur blabbering and ur FML's.. i dun hate my life nor do i hate on people.. i'm just typing loads of shit here that u guys bother to read :D ...o wait.. maybe i am hating on people.. who knows :P

Oh a little insight on wad i mean by issues that are ranked as feathers for u guys..hmm ok.. i read into crap alot i dunno why... so like on msn right..things like how fast u reply me and how u reply me matters...and because of that i have loads of internal battles to figure out the situation of the person i am talking to.. am i annoying them? disturbing? all that... and like.. although it might seem like nth... i care alot about this...and sometimes .. even though its just an assumtion.. i get really pissed with myself if i THINK i am disturbing some1 too much...and then i can spend the rest of the day annoying myself with shit like.. "Louis why are u so dumb clearly she is busy =.=" lol

Yeah..thats how i am :X

But hey .. i like being this way hahas... although its annoying i kinda am 75% of the time right about the situation of the person... ok actually i dunno since...even if i ask .. my frens wont be so bad as to say YES I AM BUSY NOW GO AWAY... except for nuri.. but.. she's a bitch :D lol ( we love calling each other names so dun judge me.. she's still a good fren to me ok :P )

wow i think i went off topic...hmm.. i needa go toilet.. lol...WHOA ITS 6...once again i didnt sleep early =.=... my brain's clock is messed up...

Hmm.. shall try to change my blog skin asap... its really frustrating to look at hahas.. alrighty thanks for reading yo ~ Talk to yall soon :D

2011-02-22T02:41:00.003+08:00

Ok i'm sane today :P

Ok.. i've decided to forget about it .. afterall this is simply a losing battle..I don't wanna feel frustrated and depressed anymore about this matter...

Sure it upsets me that i'm being treated differently..Sure it upsets me that i am degraded as a fren but o well.. i'll deal with it..After all.. its something that is till now unnoticed.. even if this post is read..i doubt anything will be done.. no comfrontation .. no questions .. nothing..

So i will continue what i do best.. just simply be there...

Ok.. now that thats done.. i guess i should simply .. talk :D

Well.. its study week now but BLEH.. holiday la :D .. since i only have one exam...but dun worry i wont be complacent.. cause that exam is on a subject that i am practically the worst in.. Computer shiets :(

Hmm anyway i have stuff i gotta complete by the end of the holiday and i think i shud write it here :D

1) Change blog skin -Gosh i have been looking at this boring blue shiet for so longgggg.. i really want to change it but i dunno how to edit one eventhough i have learnt weddesigning which is....:( .. so yeah will find one on blogskins.com or smth .. les some1 can make one for me :P

2)Make my birthday vid - It was suppose to be a surprise but hey not many ppl read this so .. for those who do lucky u... i will be posting a vid on FB of me singing... till date i really don't know how good/bad i am.. I know i said i dont really care.. but.. i really want to know if i'm hurting ppls ears or not :D

3) Clean my room - YUCKS.. i really want to throw stuff out :P

4) Continue training - I joined Dragonboat previously and now i've quit.. kind of a waste since i did put in lots of effort so i guess i'd try to continue a little to .. i dunno :P

5) Moisturise my skin - I know this is weird but HEY i have dry skin and although the lotion is RIGHTTTT beside me...i never seem to use it .. so yeah :P

6)Trim and dye my hair - Hmm.. this is kinda expected but till now i have no idea what colour i would dye my hair ... i was thinking blue seeing that my 1st colour was blue but i didnt have my fridge back then so.. we'll see

7)Shop - i have loads of things i gotta buy.. u know that feeling when u cleared ur room? it feels empty and u wanna fill it up with new stuff.. yeah.. clothes and stuff.. but smth u woulden't expect is....Make-up.. LOL! Its weird i know but .. i dun know why but i enjoy looking at them and playing with them like as if they were face paint.. i find it enjoyable.. considering being a make-up artist as a profession :P

8)Train Tennis - Well its the holiday.. i guess i shud continue my training with Wei Jie.. hope we can cause... TP tennis is not easy to get into.. 11 slots.. only for experienced players.. WISH ME LUCK

9)Even out my skin tone - HOLY CRAP i have chinese feet and body but the rest of me is malay... being in dragonboat has made my skin colour different and i dont like it... either i'm all tan or all white.. and ... i'd rather be tan... not many people can pull it off and i think i can :D

10)I have no idea - LOL yea.. i just wan it to end nicely but I HAVE NO IDEA LOL

Haha .. anyway its super late.. and i guess i should be sleeping.. will post abt my poly year one next time.. for now.. see ya :D

2011-02-21T02:19:00.003+08:00

Hmm.. You know.. i wont lose this fight this time..

If u said you knew.. i would say, " well then why didnt u bother? " If you said u didnt know.. i would say, " well then why didnt u bother?" it works either way.. but the thing is eventhough i know its in a way a debate of which is favourable to me..

I'll lose

Why?

You don't care

You won't care

and even till the very end.. u will try to prove.. not prove that u are right .. but prove that i am being a fool...Cus...even if the battle is lost.. the one who really loses is the one who looks the part..

I honestly don't know why things changed..at first i tot i was being retarded... but soon things began to pile up..but the biggest hit was when i was told later... now before u go crazy.. i'm meaning it more on.. why did u CALL the first one, and wait all the way till u reached home to tell me via skype.. i dun give a shit if u have LOADS to tell him.. why coulden't u msg or smth.. i was like fcking calling and msging u.. i even scared u emo and sad cus u didnt achieve wad u wanted...

Its weird u know.. i'm not trying to say i am the better person but..its really frustrating that previously( don't say now.. cus i know u sure say .. wa then nv talk to me for 2mths ?) I would defend u when u failed in games..i would try my best to actually give constructive advice rather than go, " just take the P**** and BANG BANG" ..but yet i'm not seen as a caring fren..

Wad am i to u? Am i a joke? a play-mate that u can use to fulfill a good team... i dunno why u look down on me ... i nv forcefully criticise u in games..but yet i have to hear ur criticism about the way i play ... and FYI .. u aint better than me ... u never were ..sure u will be going , " LAI 1V1 la "

Your childish if u thought that..cause it shows that despit all that u have read.. u dun give nuts about how i feel.

OH HOW U FEEL OMG LOUIS STOP BEING A SISSY..

Yeah i'm a sissy so wad... u've known that about me since the day u met me dude...Bros my ass..if this is how u treat a brother i dun wanna have anything to do with u...

I logged in skype today, hoping to ignore everythin.. i know i cant just pretend nth happened but i was willing to ignore my mood and just chill..but in the end u called me the asshole...u know that instantly made me realise that.. u still think that the one at fault is me...Often than not.. i say," u are wrong and i am wrong can we stop fighting?" .. but in the end.. i'm the only 1 who sees in this way.. for u will still feel that u are not even the least bit at fault..

And its like.. i really dun wanna post this.. i intended it to my short and mysterious like.. but i dunno anymore man.. like..wad u consider me as.. who is in the wrong and all that...

Its weird.. i'm a dude but yet here i am typing this post as if i were a girl.. i've been wondering.. are all guys jerks? I really want to know...for all i care i am a jerk too.. but srsly...wads with the difference in attitude portrayed by the two different sex...I knw i'm a male.. i'm straight.. so screw anyone with the whole i'm gay jokes cus its not the time..

Thinking back...american idol was probably the only emotional assistance u provided... the rest are all physical ones...and .. seeing that my eyes are half closed.. i shall sum this portion up with.. not everything that looks cool is cool.. sometimes the most uncooliest thing is unexpectedly cool...

A stupid satement i know...think abt it this way...You are the jork of the school.. famous and popular.. i'm the nerdest nerd...one day... tio bullied and you helped me.. and although many would be like," omg.. he helped a nerd.. wad a loser." .. in my eyes u will my like the coolest shit..

am i making sense now? haha i really dun know..my eyes are literally closed typing these stuff...

I shall just end off... i mean.. after all even if you read this.. u would have stopped halfway or showed it to the rest and try to "defend" / shoot me back...I am really tired.. i dun want to always be the one to say, " can we sort this out?".. i'm a male too.. i have just as much pride and ego as u do.. but why do i always have to make the 1st move? I'm not weak..dont see me that way...you've always thought i was all words and no action.. your wrong.. sure i didnt do things that would get me into trouble... because.. thats just stupid...and your still being childish once again for thinking this...

O well..i really don't know..all i can say/ask is...i wanna know my worth... i know it mushy and all that .. it sounds boyfriend girlfriendish but.. i'm THIS kind of person..I dont want to waste my time typing more of these things in hopes of u reading and realising your mistakes...I'm srsly tired of this...

Oh and i'm feeling bitchy now so..

i took this off sherwin's Facebook status update:"

I dont get why guys are always the jerks in the relationship. Aren't there two sides to every coin? Are ALL of you arguing that women are perfect angels who do no wrong at all?"

I have to say...I laughed..We are jersk...we seriously are jerks.. as much as i would love to defend my own "side" i have to agree to this very fact.. sure not all of us are but.. we eventually will... maybe i'm just being biased seeing that i'm having a horrible time with my male fren.. but hey.. face it.. its already a jerk-like act just my thinking of posting that up...and for those who liked it.. i dunno... i just feel that they are defending themselves...ALWAYS DEFENDING ... why? I really want to know why... cant they just reflect and see? Are the saying that males are not jerks AT ALL? why cant they just go " hmm.. well yeah.. we are jerkish sometimes...".. and yes i do admit.. girls aint the goddess in relationships but like.. why cant a simple reflecting be carried out and understand why this statement is all used.. MEN ARE JERKS..at least type...

Fine.. we may be jerks.. but.. we are not entirely at fault... and so on so forth abt sharing blame...haiz.. so funny... i cant stand it..

Sometimes i simpl y think that the problem lies in me... why was i born as some1 who reads into everything so much...a mere Dot out of placewill make me interpret incorrectly... the speed of which u reply and all that.....It just gives me problems.. i end up hurting myself and causing myself to feel shitty even without the "people who caused them" realising.

BLEH imma just go sleep...my eyes are heavy...

2011-02-20T22:50:00.001+08:00

In the end.. i've decided to ignore it... Not forget it..simply ignore.. after all.. it would seem that the views are still the same

2011-02-16T21:14:00.002+08:00

In all honestly.. i do know that i am disliked

2011-02-15T23:08:00.002+08:00

It urks me big time whenever i see people think that something is cool.. when in all reality .. it isnt..

Now i aint some1 to judge but i dunno why lately things like this pisses me off.. i know its not my business but i just feel that somehow.. i'm included in this nerd uncool fest...

Before i begin .. please note.. i am NOT cool.. i admit that first.. but yeah these are things that I feel are uncool and u know its bad when uncool + uncool ...

First up.. i'm in IT school.. lets admit it .. the 1st day i went into my IT school for camp... one word.. shocked ... at the amount of nerd looking people i will be amongst for 3 years... now i dont mind nerds but... when they start to talk and act in a certain way... i get frustrated... WHY oh WHY cant they look .. NON-NERDISH.. like.. we're already in a nerdish course.. and yet u dress this way ... it urks me loads like srsly.. i don't know why but its embarassing to be grouped as one of them... speaking of nerd... how nerdish isit when u hear this

"wa why teach easy programming cannot teach hard one first?"

I rephrased but it meant this... now.. i'm not saying u CANT love programming but... when u give such a tone... it makes me potray u as a haolian stupid head that thinks the coolest thing is life is programming and for that.. i see u as a nerd.. and once again.. URKED.. like man srsly.. obviously we learn from scratch.. u think u so zai all must folo? siao...

I damn heng to get into the ONLY class that is non-nerdish.. like srsly...

Ok before u all get ur pants in flare.. please note.. all these that i am saying is things that MAY urk me.. i dunno why but i'm rather annoyed by things these days but i dunno wad...to avoid more explanation i shall just list wad urks me..

1) People who think a particular nerd-like activity is cool
2) People who add me on FB cus they think they are frens with me during camp
3) People who ask me to cheer during camps cus i cheered the loudest.. i am a human i choose to cheer or not.. i aint ur mic dude =.=..
4) Profile pictures of certain people/ things
5) loads more

i dunno why.. but the only thing that dun urks me even if they have done the things above are my frens from secondary school...maybe i miss secondary ... i hate poly i dunno... but for example... if i see one of my girl-friends liking some bio-ish thing.. i wont mind.. i find it nice.. but if some poly person likes it... i will be urked... am i weird? LOL

2011-02-14T21:26:00.002+08:00

I guess i know why lately its becoming more stress for me...

previously.. i have 4 people i can rant and talk to easily... 2 guys and 2 girls...

Now the 2 girls are still awesome people to talk to.. they listen and all that but.. one only does so whenever she comes to my house.. which is not very often unlike during our primary school days... the other female fren.. well..i'm sure i can msg her everytime but... if i do that i will just waste LOADS of her money haha and i don't wanna trouble her so much over such rants which i can type here..but i'm a weird person.. i wan people to read my rants ..thats why i like ranting on Facebook.. but now i have classmates that TROLL me there.. so its hard to really rant properly... haha but dun get me wrong.. i love them..their good frens despite their trollingness but...yeah ..sometimes i need an upfront care and not the " TROLLING U CAUSE I CARE" .. yeah i'm weird.. see even now i feel so ranty .. the BEST listener just msged me asking me if i'm ok.. wa i feel better now hahas :D ( if your reading this thanks :D )

And now for the two males.. where do i begin.. i'm really afraid they will read this but hey.. they haven't talk to me for over a few months.. i'm pretty sure they think its MY problem.. but.. o well.. i'm fine with it.. usually i will rant stuff to them too.. sure they dun really give a shit.. they just say i'm sensitive and lame.. being uncool for my petty and lame remarks.. but hey.. i get my rants out and i feel better... and now i'm in a phase of BLEHness cause they don't even bother to realise i haven talk to them for a long time and not bothering to ask me why... it just adds on to the problem.. and before i continue let me just say.. i have work to do so i'm kinda rushing this post and rant hahas

yeah.. its like even if they read this .. they'll still say is my problem/ fault...but bleh.. i dunno now... maybe its really my fault who cares eh? its not like u guys care if its my fault anyway..after all 2 months of no talking.. doesnt seem to affect u eh?

Gosh everyday i will be a fool for thinking abt why i am still pissed with them.. but o well..thats me being me ...senstive and stupid.. anyway where was I ... o yeah.. so ranty ranty..

I guess thats probably a small reason why i like people to tell me if they are sad or not.. so that i can use that as a platform to rant something that is bothering me so as to help them.. am i making sense? i dunno.. so yeah :D feel free to talk to me.. i love listening to ur problems not cause it makes me happy ( i aint that sadistic ) it makes me feel better as well as makes u feel better i guess...

BLEH OK STOP

oh ya side note... once its holidays.. i'm SOOOO gonna change my blogskin... its so boring =.=... remove the links cause... half of it is like not update / no more blog :( .

will clean my room and all that blah

OK DONE BYE

2011-02-10T03:32:00.002+08:00

HUGE RANT PLEASE IGNORE ... ITS ALL CAPS SO... GET THE HINT?

FCKING FCKER DON'T THINK JUST CAUSE U ARE LIKE UBER AWESOME NOW MEANS YOU ARE THE BEST... DON'T MESS WITH ME JUST CAUSE I AM SOMEWHAT LOWER THAN U NOW ... I'M NOT ONE TO BE MESSED WITH.. I CAN MANUPILATE PEOPLE FAIRLY WELL AND YET ENSURE THAT THEY ARE STILL ON MY SIDE...I CAN DIRECT THINGS UNTIL IT GOES MY WAY AND YET SEEM LIKE THE INNOCENT ONE.. DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME U FCKTARD...

OF COURSE, I CANT PUNCH KICK SLAP OR WACK YOU.. I'M NOT DUMB ENUF TO GET MYSELF IN JAIL FOR THE LIKES OF YOU BUT WHEN I'M DONE .. DONE WITH ALL THESE NONSENSE...I WILL MAKE YOU REALISE JUST HOW LONELY U REALLY ARE...U WILL FINALLY SEE THE BRUTAL SIDE OF ME THAT YOU WONT EVEN NOTICE BECAUSE...I'M THAT GOOD... EVEN IF U BACK OFF NOW.. I WONT LET U OFF..YOU'RE GONNA REGRET MAKING ME SOOOOOOO PISSED YOU SELFISH, INSENSIBLE, INSENSTIVE, UNTOLERABLE BITCH..

MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON YOUR SOUL BUT END UP REVOKING THAT MERCY CAUSE YOU SPOKE...SPOKE WITH THAT GODDAMN ANNOYING VOICE.

2011-02-06T00:18:00.003+08:00

*ALERT*

Incoming huge self-centered-ness and god damn horrible BLEHS and ABSOLUTE RETARDATIONS... so feel free to click that X

In life.. there are the lucky ones, those who do little shit and SO HAPPEN do the correct shits and the correct time to get awesome shits happen to them..

and there are the hardworkers.. those who work like KRAZYYYY only to achieve their shiets after a LONNNNNGGGG time.. or even never at all...

now why am i saying this... i gambled just now i mean comeon its CNY...and i realise.. wad i am is much like a game of blackjack...

Thing is.. since the day i was born...ok i shall not say i NEVER won.. but rather... out of maybe... 50 games, i will win only once...which is really smth...to me, to gamble with money is to lose money... cause i hardly win.. even if i do.. its like wad... pitiful amounts... now thats not the thing that annoys me... cause like i gamble what... $1? and in total lose $20+ or so sometimes (cept today i stopped early cause i nv bring money:P) so its really nth to me... but what got me thinking was the comparison in terms of luck, between my youngest sis and me...

If i could do a nice analysis...everytime I won in overall, my younger sis lost... so picture this.. 1/50 = louis
49/50 = sis...

and i aint even kidding.. it made me realise how funny the universe is.. mind u i told u at the start of the post that i am being retarded so BLEH :D... My sis just plays by the rules and do simple steps and wins .. easy right? but for me its different... i have to analyse EVERY single situation and take cards appropreiately so as to get the best benefits.. and this does not mean me winning .. i take to help the person beside me... and its like.. wad i mean by those hardworkers.. they work hard but yet.. u know.. it just might not happen.. am i being extremely lame? cus i think i make sense...

SELF CENTERED!

if i have to sterotype here... my youngest sis is a bimbo and i'm the Timmy turner from fairy oddparents... now why... my youngest sis i shall not lie.. she isnt the brightest thing ... but u know... she somehow achieves in a gambling game... i woulden't be surprised if she succeeds in life... and i'm timmy cus...i wish for things.. but yet things dun turn out my way... but after a few attempts.. i can work hard enuf to solve the problems which i caused but maybe not gain anything .. just solve a problem i created...

BLEH i really dun know wad i'm talking...

Imma just go sleep heh :D HAPPY CNY guys sorry for constant rants nowadays.. i will try to post normal happy stuff soon...

2011-02-05T03:41:00.002+08:00

I dunno why but it urks me EVERYTIME i go onto facebook and see some form of status update or pictures that screams "Wow these are my friends i love them all :D "

Because...lets take camp for example.. Poly camp.. we've all had this for some ice-breaking or watever.. and thing is.. to me, its ridiculous when i see people treating other people they met during the camp with so much care.. like as if they were awesome friends...asking for outings and all that...

Lets be honest.. you've known each other for like what.. 1-3 days? I dont see why you have to go all ULTIMATE-FRIENDSHIP on them... like.. its just people u've recently met..i really dunno why i'm posting this but it just urks me... I love my friends but like... these people are the ones i've known and spent time with...now i dun mind spending time with people i met in the camp but... theres a limit..I JUST MET YOU..TO ME, YOUR NOT OF A 'FRIEND'-ABLE STATUS...Don't treat me like i'm your best friend ...bleh .. i'm insane...

But its true.. i mean.. do i really know these people... who are they exactly... i can analyze someone only to a certain extent.. the rest is thru experiences...even on Facebook.. i deleted like almost everyone who added me just cause they saw me before.. like...wth? i dont even know you well and you added me...its not that i'm a high-demanded person.. but.. in a way i am gonna be an ass and say.. your not worthy to add me just yet.. i dun mean it like you are not high classed but rather.. really .. i dont know you that well as to think that you are available.. am i making sense?

Lol... wow i am really wasting your time here but hey... its my blog aint it? :D .. its where i go to tell you stuff which i feel.. its just like a debate.. two sides...one agrees.. one disagrees... you might not agree with me but u still can hear my views out :X

I am really lame and sleepy.. hence the lame post...OH sidenote.. i am really into make-up now.. i dunno why... i don't wear it out but i just like it... made a ninja look the other day.. did my eyebrows and all hahas.. it was fun ... might be purchasing some nice make-up brushes for myself :D.. or shud i wait for my birthday and hint HAHA.. we shall see

2011-02-03T14:45:00.002+08:00

Admit it.. you're just bored with your old friends..to you, we are not as fun as your other friends.. we are boring people and you simply dun wish to participate in activities that you feel will bore you to death.

Always need accomodate your needs but end up the effort we put in will not be noticed but rather we will have to hear more shitty WTF and zZz Sian...

2011-01-31T20:34:00.002+08:00

Its funny the way people act..

How some people are more superior than another in the eyes of another person even though the first is clearly a much better being than the 2nd who is seen as the superior being in the eye of the third's...

hilarious how the structure of things work...Or rather.. hilarious how humans can be so blind.

2011-01-31T20:29:00.002+08:00

I love how some people call themselves "alpha".. it just makes one of my previous post more interesting.

Still its quite sad...Alpha eh? Its not like your all that great anyway...

Muscleheads, it seems like you've all forgotten that I am a sensitive bugger and cause if you knew, why haven't we talked properly for more than a month? Its worst if u say that you know i'm sensitive.. cause.. it shows that you coulden't bother.

2011-01-30T01:46:00.000+08:00

Its times like this that i wish i were slow and blur